


If You Understood

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: AU, Body Swap, Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29571522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: Elizabeth and Nadine both wished the other understood what it was like walking in their shoes... A freak event gives them the chance.
Relationships: Elizabeth McCord/Henry McCord
Comments: 90
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

“Ma’am.” Nadine sighed, rubbing her temple. “A lot of things had to happen to get this on the agenda so quickly. We can’t just up and postpone it without giving good cause. The whole thing will fall apart if we do.” It was late in the evening and Nadine felt herself wanting to raise her voice. “I know Senator Vale isn’t someone you’re a major fan of, but it was what we had to do to get the votes we needed.” She wanted nothing more than to be done with this conversation, to be home and off her feet, a drink in her hand, but she had a feeling that was going to be hours away yet.

“I get that you worked hard at this, Nadine.” Elizabeth was standing behind her desk, resting her weight forward on steepled fingers. “But there has to be another senator we can sway with just a little more time. Anyone on the Hill _except_ Vale.” She huffed, shaking her head. She really wanted to lay it all out, wanted to make her Chief of Staff get it, but there was no way she could say anything. “I just wish…” She started, mostly to herself. She wished Nadine understood what a dangerous man Vale had the potential to be, what she suspected he was capable of.

“Ma’am?” Nadine’s brows knit together as she studied her boss. Most days they got along splendidly, but lately, things had been tense again and she wasn’t certain why. She’d bent over backward getting their legislation to be veto-proof, backing out of the deal she’d struck with Vale would not only bring the whole thing tumbling down, the slight would have long-reaching ripple effects that she simply wouldn’t allow. Not at the expense of all her own political capital. “I will make some calls.” She could do that. She could spend the night calling all her contacts, again, to find some inducement to sway someone to voting their way.

“Thank you.”

Turning on her heel, Nadine did her best to march back to her office, already wondering who she could flip before the sun rose again. There were a few junior senators who’d been making overtures in the past. Perhaps one of them could be strung along long enough to get a vote out of them before letting them down gently.

Sitting behind her desk, Nadine stretched, working the kinks out of her spine before reaching for her phone. It was going to be a long evening. She wished Elizabeth understood what sacrifices she made to make the State Department look good.


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth woke up exhausted. It felt as if she’d pulled an all-nighter or two, her head thick with too little sleep. Reaching out one hand, she reached for Henry, but didn’t find him beside her. It was odd, but not unheard of. Occasionally he was up before she was, though usually she woke as he got out of bed.

Doing a personal assessment, Elizabeth realized she was flat on her stomach, not a position she usually slept in, and buried down off the pillows and under the blankets, odd for her as she tended to kick everything off in her sleep. Normally she got too hot to sleep under very many blankets and never buried over her head. Pulling the covers off her head, Elizabeth tried to get her bearings in the darkness. That is was still dark was the first thing she didn’t understand, but a glance at the clock told her it was barely four thirty.

“What am I doing up this early?” She frowned. Her voice felt, sounded, off. “Great, I’m getting sick.”

Rolling to her side, she pulled her knees nearly to her chest, a position she laid in often, but at about the halfway point pain like red-hot pokers seared her hips, radiating up her spine and down her legs. She hissed, willing it to stop, but her muscles seemed to get on board and began hurting too. Her entire body tensed up and wouldn’t relax. Moving hurt, not moving hurt. She wanted to cry already and she’d been awake all of two minutes.

“Henry?”

There was no answer.

Carefully, she pushed herself up on one wobbling arm, trying to figure out where her husband had gone. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she looked, finally, around the room. It was all wrong. The windows were in the wrong place, the décor was wrong… Throwing the covers out of the way, Elizabeth made her way out of the bed, crying out for a moment at the way her body objected to being moved. Everything was tensed and stopping her from moving freely and she didn’t understand why.

Limping, she slowly rounded the bed, peeking through one door, _living room_ , and then another, _bathroom_.

Nothing made sense. Not the hour, not the bizarre place she was in, not the way she had to fight through pain to move. Locking the bathroom door just to be safe, Elizabeth let out a breath and allowed herself to relax a moment. Her muscles relaxed the slightest bit, allowing her to stand upright.

Flipping on the bathroom light, she studied the room. For the most part it was nothing fancy, save for the very expensive looking jetted tub. There was a shower with an almost hedonistic amount of shower heads and a bench seat that left her envious. She didn’t miss the grab rails mounted both in the shower and by the tub. With the amount of pain she was in, she had a feeling she’d be thankful for them.

Heading first for the toilet, she looked down at her pajamas and frowned. She couldn’t remember owning anything like these before. She always ran warm, even in the winter and never wore anything heavier than thin pajamas. These were thick and heavy, appropriate for northern winters. As she stared, she realized something else was off about them. The fit was all wrong. The top was much looser than she was used to, normally to get the bottom of a set to fit around her waist, it meant the top was tight. This one was positively swimming on her.

Nervously, she pulled the collar of the top out, looking down at her chest. “What the hell? Henry?!” There was still no response. Turning, she faced the mirror and was left speechless. The face staring back at her wasn’t her own at all. Her blonde hair was instead dark brown and curly. Her blue eyes were dark as well. She had no idea what had happened, but if this was a dream, it was the most realistic one she’d ever had.


	3. Chapter 3

Carefully, Nadine blinked awake in the darkness and then slowly sat up, doing her best not to move too quickly. It would do no good to start her day in her normal amount of pain.

Putting her feet on the floor, she cautiously stood, pleasantly surprised that she could walk. It’d been another late night making phone calls, but she needed to be showered and ready to go by the time Blake texted his usual morning overview. Shuffling, she walked, eyes mostly closed, in the direction of the bathroom, only to trip over a piece of furniture that hadn’t been at the foot of her bed the night before.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” A male voice asked, making her freeze, eyes wide open. “Why are you up?” The body in the bed shifted and then sat up, flipping on the light. In horror, Nadine stared, slack-jawed, at Henry looking back at her. “Babe?”

Now that there was a light on, Nadine could see this room wasn’t her own. Not by a long shot, and she had no idea how she’d ended up here.

Panicked, she looked around for an escape. She’d done a great many things in her life that had been bad ideas, but this… How had she managed to end up in bed with her boss’s husband?

She wasn’t familiar with the layout of whatever house this was, she assumed the McCords’ Georgetown home, and found herself shut in the en suite bathroom. Frantically, she looked around for something that would give her a clue as to where things had gone wrong.

It was, possibly, her worst nightmare come true.

“Babe?” Henry knocked on the door. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry!” Her words sounded odd to her ears. Sucking in a breath to calm herself, she fisted a hand to her chest. Sliding to the floor it took a minute before she realized she was able to do it without pain. Her mind whirled as she looked around, desperate to remember what had happened between midnight and whatever time it was now.

“Whatever’s bothering you, Babe, we can talk about it. It was just a dream, just a nightmare… Come back to bed.”

It was a nightmare; one she was still currently living. As she heard Henry move away from the door, she rested back against the wood, her legs out straight in front of her. In the dim light, she stared at her feet that, somehow, weren’t her feet.

The nightgown, now that she was looking, she didn’t recognize either. She never wore so little in the winter; she’d never stay warm. Even with heat cranked up, she felt the cold constantly all winter long, outdoors or in. Pushing up, she turned on the light, looking at her hands that were familiar in an odd sort of way, before looking finally into a mirror. Staring back at her was not her own reflection, but Elizabeth’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Frozen in front of the mirror, Elizabeth stared at the face looking back at her. At Nadine’s face. Blinking, she cleared her throat and tried to say something, frowning when it came out so clearly now in Nadine’s voice.

A phone beeped from the bedroom, catching her attention. Desperate for answers, she started to rush back to the other room, only to be halted in place by pain radiating through her body. “Shit.” At a much slower pace, she managed to walk back to the bed, finding the phone, Nadine’s phone, and squinting at the screen. Searching, she found a pair of glasses under several files on the nightstand and pulled them on, bringing the phone into focus.

Message from:  
Blake  
_‘I have confirmation from Senators Flores and Tate. Thank you for backing off Vale. I can take the luncheon tomorrow off your hands, but that’ll be my BS quota for the week, if you can handle babysitting duty over lunch today.’_

She frowned, entirely confused about the entire message and wondering why Blake was even awake and messaging Nadine at a quarter to five in the morning. And babysitting who?

Dropping back to sit on the bed, she jerked back up at the sudden resurgence of pain, doubling halfway until her muscles relaxed enough that she could move again. Opening the messaging app, she responded to Blake that something had come up and she would be late in.

Whatever the hell was going on, she’d need time to figure it out.

=MS=

It was weird, walking around someone else’s home. The décor, now that lights were on, were definitely what she would classify as ‘Nadine’. The condo was simple, modern, and almost museum-esque.

Elizabeth was still dressed in pajamas and now a heavy afghan from the bed to try and keep warm. She so very rarely felt the cold, even when she and Henry were on the farm, so this bone-deep chill had her shivering, teeth nearly chattering. Limping painfully, she found the kitchen and looked for coffee only to realize after several minutes of searching that there was nothing for coffee anywhere. “How does someone not have coffee in the house?” All she could find was tea. She knew that was wht she saw the other woman drink, it'd just never dawned on her that she _never_ drank coffee.

Tea doctored, Elizabeth sipped it only to quickly spit it out in the sink. Normally, she had to add plenty of milk and sugar to make tea tolerable, but this morning the flavor repulsed her. Afraid to try anything else and not feeling particularly hungry anyway, she shuffled back to the bedroom, finding the closet and staring at the clothes hanging inside. Most of the wardrobe she recognized, basic blouses and slacks. Things that weren’t necessarily to her tastes, but familiar enough. She fingered through a few pieces, recognizing some of the high-end brands. Not seeing any plan on how to figure out what was going on that didn’t involve getting dressed, Elizabeth decided to pick what appeared simple enough, black pants and a cream top. Backtracking to the bedroom, she opened dresser drawers until she found what she was looking for.

It felt weird going through someone else’s underwear drawer, picking a bra and things to go on a body that wasn’t hers. Weirder still came minutes later when she stood at the shower, debating stepping in. She might be _in_ this body, however that had happened, but getting naked and washing still felt…wrong, on so many levels.

Under the various sprays, Elizabeth studied the options of soap and conditioner sitting on the ledges, the labels of which made her jaw drop. None of them were grocery store products. Once she was wet, she started working shampoo into unfamiliar hair, feeling acutely the way the body she was in seemed to object to the ways she shifted on the slick floor, the way she felt unsteady as she tried to get clean.

Finally accepting that she needed a break from the constant ache, Elizabeth sat on the bench to rinse her hair and wash everywhere else, doing her best not to think too hard about how odd it felt to look down and see herself as nearly flat-chested, to see scars where she’d never seen scars before.

Stepping out and finding a towel, Elizabeth sat on the stool that was in the bathroom to dry off, taking a harder look as she did. Just behind either hip join were old scars, long and curved, there were also small scars around one knee and more on the same ankle. Standing again, she noticed a full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door and took slow turn, observing with a sort of detachment this thing that was so unfamiliar to her. There were similar tiny white spots along one part of the spine and then on the back of her shoulder.

Wrapping the towel around herself, Elizabeth searched for a hairdryer and tried to brush and dry hair that so foreign. Now that it was wet, it’d curled into ringlets she could only vaguely remember Nadine wearing years ago. Her attempts to brush it only led to further tangling it all into wild knots. Giving up with the brush, she focused on just getting it dry first, which seemed to take forever, and then, arms tired, started working a wide comb she found on the counter through, section by section, until it looked somewhat close to acceptable.

Debating whether to try and pull it up or leave it down, the phone rang, interrupting her thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

Swallowing, Nadine backed away from the mirror, desperate to try and figure out what parallel world she’d woke up in. She’d had some seriously insane dreams in her life, but this… This was to the next level.

Looking over her body, she started with her hands that…weren’t her hands. It seemed like a weird detail for her mind to fabricate so accurately. Her legs were long and toned and tanned, no remnants of surgeries in sight.

Yanking off the nightgown, she twisted, amazed at the lack of strain or pain as she did so. There were no scars on her hips, no reminders of a body that held her almost prisoner… and there were breasts! Nadine couldn’t help staring. Compared to what she’d spent a lifetime look at, they looked huge!

A noise in the bedroom reminded her, she wasn’t alone. There was still Henry to deal with. Henry who looked at her and saw this body she didn’t know, this body that somehow looked like his wife.

Pulling the nightgown back on, Nadine eased the door open and looked out, Henry was watching her. “Hi.”

“You okay, Babe?”

She tried to remember how Elizabeth walked, did she walk differently for her husband? She wasn’t sure where to go, but Henry pulled back the covers on the far side of the bed, a clear invitation, and so she did the most obvious, returning to the bed beside him. “I’m not sure.”

As she settled against the pillows, he pulled her close, spooning her, and she tensed. “Shh.” He rubbed her arms. “Are you still worried about work?” He pressed a kiss to her hair. “I know it hurts you when you and Nadine aren’t getting along, but I promise you, it’ll get better again.” His arm came around to hug her. “Maybe if you talked to her, she’d understand what you’ve been through.”

“I-” She had no idea how to respond without giving away that she had no clue what it was talking about. Elizabeth had been hurt by something they’d said? What did Elizabeth think she wouldn’t understand? Maybe… “Maybe I should call her.”

“It’s still early, I doubt she’s even up yet.” One look at the clock and Nadine knew that, normally anyway, her internal clock most definitely had her up by now. “Get some more sleep, Babe. You will need it.” His hands started to wander along her body in ways she knew were meant to head toward sex, but there was no way. When she tensed, he pulled back. "Get some more sleep."

"I'm- I'm sorry." She wanted to be completely freaked out laying in his arms, but Elizabeth’s body was relaxed and calm, clearly content being held. "I just- I'm just tired still."

He pressed a kiss to her again and then settled behind her.

Rigid in his arms, she tried to not be surprised at how easily Henry had just let her disinterest go. 

=MS=

Nadine had only managed to lay in bed almost an hour before getting up again, giving Henry a vague excuse about needing to get an early start before she began searching for clothes to wear to get dressed. Finding Elizabeth’s phone, she crept out of the bedroom, hoping that the house was laid out somewhat logically so she could find a space away from everyone else to make a call.

She had to admit, as she walked through the house, that having the freedom to move her body however she wished was nice. Even if it wasn’t her body. 

Pulling the pocket doors closed on the office, she turned the cell phone over in her hand, thinking a second before dialing her own number, not surprised when the photo that was also on her work ID appeared on the screen. Connecting the call, she wondered who, if anyone, would pick up on the other end. Was it insane to question whether only she and Elizabeth were involved in this nightmare? 

“Hello?”

Nadine cleared her throat and then paused. Did she just assume the person on the other end was Elizabeth in her voice? How did she even begin to ask if they were as confused, as lost, as she was. 

“Nadine?” It was her own voice asking her name.

“Yes.”

There was a gust of air and then clear relief. “Oh, thank god.”

“I’m not dreaming then.”

“If you are, then I am too.” Elizabeth admitted, clearly just as confused. “I- I woke up in your house… In your body… I was certain I was going insane.”

“I woke up beside your husband.”

The voice down the line laughed. “I’m sorry. That had to be terrifying.”

“Ma’am…? What the hell is going on?”

“I have no idea. I, um, I told Blake I… you… would be late in this morning. He texted your phone about forty-five minutes ago.”

Nadine looked for a clock. “He must’ve been running behind.”

“Wait, what? What time do the two of you get up?”

“It’s no big deal, Ma’am.”

“I think you’re going to have to stop calling me that.”

She paused. “Good point.” Cautiously, she carried on. “What did the message say?”

“Oh! Um… something about confirming two senators and then agreeing to take a luncheon tomorrow if you will babysit today at lunch.”

Nadine did her best to remember the midnight email and then nodded. “Okay.”

“Nadine?’

“Yes, Ma- yes?”

“Who will you babysit?”

“It’s nothing.” She was really going to hate the not using ‘ma’am’ thing.

“It’s something if I’m going to have to do it in your place.”

“Yes… well…” She had no idea how to admit the answer to that. “I think it hardly matters when we have much bigger issues to sort out here.”

“… I agree. First off, why am I in so much pain? This is… I can barely walk, showering was horrible, it’s overwhelming.”

“You… you showered?” She was surprised Elizabeth had bothered, though she appreciated it. 

“Well, I figured I couldn’t stay in pajamas all day. Though it would’ve been nice, your place is freezing! Is the thermostat broken?”

“No, it’s quite efficient actually. And I guess you’ll get used to that.”

“To what?”

“All of it. I’m always freezing, always have been, and the pain you’ll get used to too.”

“Get used to? It won’t go away?”

“It hasn’t yet.” She sighed. “One of us should have Blake clear the morning so we can meet in person and figure out what the hell is going on as soon as possible.”

“I can text him again… Is there anything else I need to know before we do manage to meet up? I’m going to just dodge calls and emails for the time being.”

“I- I don’t think so.” Nadine looked around what she could see of the dark house. “What do I need to know?”

“Henry might think it’s weird I’m up this early, honestly.”

“Yes, he seemed distressed.”

“I normally shower before work… We’re going to have to tell him if this is going to last very long.”

“He’ll have us both committed.”

“…Probably.”

Nadine rubbed her, Elizabeth’s, head. “I’ll get ready and meet you at the office. Just… go easy. Don’t break anything.”

Elizabeth made a small sound. “I’m not going to break your stuff, Nadine.”

“I didn’t mean my stuff, though that’s good to know. I meant my body. The non-bionic parts are pretty fragile. If you end up in the hospital, it will make this all a lot more complicated.”


	6. Chapter 6

She’d nearly flubbed a few times, kissing Henry goodbye had been weird and being hungry had thrown her, though by the time she’d managed to dress and put on make-up, she hadn’t had time to eat anything. The other odd thing had been remembering that Elizabeth didn’t drive anywhere. She probably could get used to that, though. DC traffic could be brutal.

Brushing one hand over the skirt she’d picked out, Nadine tugged at the edges of the blouse again. It felt odd, how the fabric pulled snug across her chest. When the elevator doors opened, a very worried looking Blake was standing there looking her over, a coffee and bakery bag in his hands.

Before she could say anything, he was at her side, tugging the travel mug Henry had made away and placing a fresh cup of coffee in its place. Falling into step as she walked toward Elizabeth’s office, she felt his hand on her collar, relieving her of Elizabeth’s heavy coat as he also took her briefcase. “Nadine’s already in your office, Ma’am. She didn’t say what this sudden change in the schedule was about, just that you were aware.”

“Yes, we spoke this morning.” Nadine looked him over. It was obvious that being out of the loop had him worried and she could understand that. Very little didn’t include him in some way. “Take a deep breath, Blake.”

He did with a nod before pausing and giving her an odd look.

Normally it was something she, the real she, said to him to calm him down… Not Elizabeth. “I overheard Nadine tell you that last week.” She lied.

“I see.” He passed her the bag. “I’ll just… I’ll be going through the signed documents while you two talk.”

“Thank you, Blake.” Turning toward the office, she pulled the door closed, locking it for good measure.

“I already locked the other one.” She heard her own voice say.

Stepping into the room, she looked Elizabeth over. “This is insane.”

It was like looking into a mirror, watching herself nod. “I thought I had my mind wrapped around it, but now that you’re here…”

“I don’t get it… The last thing I remember is talking to you in here last night.”

“Me too.” Elizabeth agreed, wincing as she slowly stood. “And I have a feeling Henry is going to be the one to help us sort it out. I was thinking on the way in that something feels familiar about this- something he’s told me before.”

“Nothing about this feels familiar.” Nadine finally took a seat in a chair near the sofa. “What if this is forever?”

“I doubt it is.”

“What do we do?”

She watched herself shrug. “Fake it?”

Her stomach grumbled, making the other woman snicker.

“You better eat.”

“I never eat.”

“But now you’re in my body. I eat a lot.”

“I’m beginning to realize that.” Opening the bag Blake had handed her, the smell of warm donuts had her mouth watering. “I can probably get through the day just fine, I mean… I’ve stood in on your behalf before. I’m easily as familiar with all the policy as you are.” She watched as Elizabeth winced. “Are you okay?”

“This is entirely distracting.”

She could see how tense Elizabeth was holding herself. “Take a breath and try to relax, it won’t go away, but it will ease up.”

“You really don’t take anything for it?”

Nadine shook her head. “Nothing really helps and the stuff that does, well, we know the statistics on opioid addiction. I’d be pain free but unemployed and probably eventually dead.” Realizing how much she’d brought the mood down, she changed topics. “You aren’t going to have the first clue about my schedule or any of the work I actually do. I had meetings with two other senators’ Chiefs of staff today, you’re going to have to take them. The first is with Sondra Yeats, she’s a lovely woman who is into films noir, so you should have a good grasp of Humphry Bogart and Ava Gardner. Those are her two favorites. It’s George Wessel you’ll have to watch out for.”

“And the babysitting thing?”

“Pardon?”

“Blake thanked me earlier for taking the babysitting thing. He suggested making it a more regular thing.”

“Oh, did he now?”

“Nadine-”

“No!” She snapped. “As weird as it is, you have to use Madam Secretary or Ma’am. You can’t even use Elizabeth.”

“…Fine. You’re right.”

The silence grew awkward, so she sighed. “It’s you.”

“…What?”

“We always write out your schedule so that you have breaks after certain meetings. Often Blake can fit in lunch or a phone call with Henry, but on the days he can’t, he or I…” She paused, looking for and failing to find a better description. “Babysit you.”

“You do what now?” _Well,_ Nadine thought to herself at the deadpan tone Elizabeth used, _at least that part will be convincing_.

“It’s to keep your stress levels low and so we can watch for anything that might lead to a panic attack. Some people, like Minister Chen, are always followed by a small break and some kind of distraction. We plan it into our days. We also have contingency plans for when Russell does what he does.”

Elizabeth stared into space a minute. “How did I never realize this?”

Nadine shrugged, wiping her fingers clean. “We’re good at our jobs. All of them.” A sharp rap tapped three times on the door before Blake rushed in ready to get started. Imitating how she’d watched Elizabeth move, she stood and headed for the desk as he talked, letting him lead the meeting.

As it wrapped up, Elizabeth started to stand, seeming to forget there would be pain as she hissed and froze.

Blake’s head instantly snapped around, distress clear on his face. “What’s wrong?!” Nadine had never once seen him look so panicked over her wellbeing. “Are you okay? Do you need help with something?”

Elizabeth waved him off. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t look convinced, but returned to his desk anyway.

“I guess I’ve got work to do.”

“Good luck.” One she was alone, Nadine settled behind the desk with a grin. Sequestered away in here where Blake kept people from just waltzing in, she’d be able to get so much done!


	7. Chapter 7

Carefully walking through the halls back to Nadine's office, Elizabeth did her best to not think about the constant hum of pain running through her new body. Nadine had said just ignore it, so she fully intended to do just that. In Nadine’s office, she settled behind the desk and frowned a second, looking down at the chair’s wheels before gripping the desk to pull herself forward. Swinging her toes a moment, she scooted forward on the seat so her feet could touch the ground.

Biting her lip, she tried to work out where everything was, not missing the inbox on the corner of her desk that seemed to have doubled in size since she’d walked down the hall and back.

“Ma’am?” Maggie was leaning in.

“Yes?”

“I had a confirmation call for your meeting with Sondra Yeats.”

She waited, wondering why Maggie was bother to tell her, Blake never told her little stuff like that, he just handled it. “Oh, thank you.”

“Of course, Ma’am.”

Buckling down to dig into Nadine’s work, she only made it five minutes before another knock sounded on her door, this time Daisy with a press release to approve. Giving it a nod, she found herself only getting another few minutes into her work again before there was another interruption.

By the time the meeting with Sondra came around hours later, Elizabeth found she’d only managed maybe forty-five minutes of actual work. She also realized at almost the wrong moment that Blake wouldn’t be rushing in to keep her on schedule. Standing quickly, she yelped at the pain and then fought through it as she reached for her coat and bag to make the meeting.

=MS=

Pushing her way through the halls toward Sondra’s office, Elizabeth had to dodge people who didn’t even seem to notice her. She’d grown used to walking everywhere with her agents creating an easy path and was surprised to find herself missing it instead of enjoying the freedom. She also hadn’t missed the three phone calls and half a dozen text messages on Nadine’s phone that had to go ignored as she’d driven over since she was the one behind the wheel.

A door opened suddenly and she had to jump out of the way to keep from being crashed into by the person rushing out. Her leg banged into a bench along the wall and caused pain from the jostling to shoot through her, but she bit back a reaction, determined not to draw attention to herself.

Sondra turned out to be an interesting woman to talk to, one who had tea already steeping and a list of Hill gossip to share, which was apparently the purpose of the meeting. Elizabeth wasn’t sure what to make of that at first, Nadine was never one to indulge in idle office gossip, until she realized that it was less about the gossip and more about oppo research. She listened as Sondra gave details about who was sleeping with whom and who had been caught making back door deals for vote support.

As she left the meeting, Nadine’s phone rang and Blake’s name flashed on the screen. “Hello?”

“Are you on your way back?”

“I am.”

“Good. She’s almost off the call with the Minister. I’m walking out the door in four minutes, but I’ve ordered lunch in and fresh coffee is already in her office.” He drew a breath, but not long enough for her to jump in and interrupt. “Now, Senator Tate’s assistant called and said he was grumbling about your strong-arming overnight with the usual descriptors.” He chuckled. “His personal favorite was that you would be less of a pain in his ass if you’d get laid once in a while. Apparently Tate even tossed around getting volunteers who would be willing to sack you on the regular to make you more pleasant. Of course, the good Senator was wanting to take his daughter and a dozen of her friends to Paris over the next school break and it looks like some of their passport paperwork has been held up due to issues with similarities of some of the names to persons on the No-Fly List.” It was obvious he was biting back a grin. “Shame that.”

Elizabeth had no idea what to make of everything he’d just said. “Sounds like you have it under control.”

He made a small noise. “Are you really okay?”

“What?”

“You didn’t look good this morning in MSec’s office. You didn’t fall or something again did you? You’ve been off all day.”

 _Again?_ She thought to herself. “No, no fall. I’m fine, Blake, I promise.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. And I’m just getting into the car. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Thank you. I’m walking out now. Enjoy lunch!”

“I’ll try.”

=MS=

Picking through the Greek salad in her lap, Elizabeth looked up at where Nadine was sitting behind the desk staring at her chicken sandwich and fries. “How’s your day been so far?”

It was entirely disorienting seeing her own face smile. “Fine. It is amazing how much I can get done in here where no one bothers me except Blake. Though I do have to say, I didn’t realize just much he micromanages you.”

She thought about the mountain of paperwork that had only been growing on the desk down the hall. With the amount of interruptions plus the meet up with Sondra, she’d barely made a dent in things. She was going to have to stay late and then possibly drag more home just to get it done. “He can be a bit obsessive, yes.”

“And how about you? How was Sondra?”

“Enlightening. It took me a bit to understand what the meeting was about.”

“I have to know every weakness of every player in Washington so I know when to exploit it.”

“You sound like Russell.”

She watched herself laugh. “Yes, well, I’ve been in Washington playing this game a lot longer than he has.”

Elizabeth finally took a bite of the salad. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Blake called to be sure I was back on time for this.” She gestured with her fork. “He asked if I was okay and then asked if I’d fallen again this morning.” Elizabeth watched as Nadine suddenly became very interested in her meal. “Na-Ma’am?” Calling her that felt odd. “Why would he ask that?”

She shrugged. “Because it happens from time to time. He, uh, he gave me the name of a neighbor of his, that’s who installed the grab bars I’m sure you saw in the bathroom.”

“I- I didn’t know.”

“I don’t like it being something people know.” Nadine sighed. “It happens, I get myself up and carry on with life.”

She could feel that Nadine didn’t want to discuss it any further and backed off, changing the subject. “I’ve barely made a dent in the work on your desk today with the amount of interruptions I’ve been getting.”


	8. Chapter 8

Nadine looked at the clock and tapped her pen on the desk. Elizabeth had already left for the meeting with Wessel, something she was both thankful to miss and anxious the other woman would have to sit through. She wanted to get up and move around, this office was just so quiet.

Standing, she crossed to the couch and laid on it, finding a comfortable position before realizing that she was exactly how she so often found Elizabeth. It left her wondering if the other woman too often felt trapped in the quiet of this room. Blake kept a supply of drinks and food running and the bathroom was right here so there was no reason to leave, a fact Nadine knew Blake loved. It made Elizabeth easier to keep track of.

Visions of the frazzled looks Blake would wear when Elizabeth so often slipped away, when he’d spend forty minutes searching for her just to drag her back, filled her mind and she grinned. Some days it was almost like a game. Elizabeth would slip somewhere inside the building, somewhere that wouldn’t trigger her detail to call Blake. Sometimes one of them would find her in the break room eating something sugary and wearing a grin or others she’d been hidden away by a window or even up on the roof.

Without this context of feeling imprisoned, Elizabeth’s antics looked childish. Perhaps, though, they were just a desperate attempt at a little freedom. Once the world was back to normal, Nadine promised herself she’d talk with Blake about it.

Her eyes drifted shut just as Blake’s quick rap tapped at the door as it pulled open. “Ma’am? You’re needed at the White House.” He was already pulling Elizabeth’s coat from the closet. “It’s about the situation in Ukraine. I have the updated timeline, we’ll go over it on the ride over.” He helped her shrug into the coat and then rushed to her desk for her bag and then started ushering her out. “Russell Jackson made it sound three-alarm urgent, so I think things are more in a state of what-if than a real crisis, but with Russia in the equation, obviously we can never be too prepared.”

His hand never left her back, even as they stepped on the elevator. When several others crowded on as well, he turned sideways, using his own body to block them from touching her. Nadine wasn’t sure she’d ever noticed him doing that before. The ride down, all she could see was Blake and two walls of the elevator. When they got to the garage, she was shuttled directly into the back seat.

Nadine was glad she was fully read in on everything Elizabeth did, but it was still weird to get to speak so freely to Dalton and Russell about various topics. When the meeting finished and POTUS sent everyone away but the pair of them, the conversation shifted.

“Did your staff fix the Vale situation? We need this bill to be veto proof and there’s no way it can hinge on his vote and he knows it. Russell’s already had a few whispering his way that Vale’s looking for an advisory seat.” Dalton huffed. “As if we need a man who thinks the nineteenth amendment needs scaled back calling the shots any further up the food chain in this country.” He studied her and then asked. “Are you okay, Bess?”

“Yes, why?”

“You seem off your game today. Are you getting enough sleep?”

“Are any of us?” Russell snarked mildly, making them all chuckle.

“Maybe you and Henry should take the kids and go away for the weekend. Go back to the farm. Your staff can manage running the world while you get a break.” He smiled as he looked at her, the look telling Nadine how fond he was of Elizabeth. “I’m not kidding, you have good people. Though they can’t do their job if their leader is falling apart. At the end of the day it’s on you to make the tough calls.”

Nadine nodded, feeling slightly bold. “What about my staff, though? When do I give them a break?”

“Well…” Conrad drew a breath and blew it out. “You could force them to use their vacation time. Or… Remember what I used to do to you girls?” He chuckled, turning to Russell. “She’s practically getting a taste of her own medicine now. She and the other girls in the Company, they’d never take a break. Finally I coordinated with their spouses for a ‘team building trip’.” He added air quotes. “The families met us out at this place in Virginia and we had four days of sleeping in, shooting the breeze, watching the kids swim and… tie dying everything they could touch, wasn’t it?” He shook his head. “It seemed counter-productive to spend time away from work with the people we worked with, but it was good.” He looked back at Elizabeth. “You should do that.”

Nadine couldn’t decide if he was serious or not. “Take my staff camping?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you met my staff?” For her part, she’d never been camping a day in her life. “Matt’s been that I know of and maybe Jay, but I’m pretty the rest aren’t the camping type.”

“Then take them skiing or something.” Russell suggested. “You and Henry ski, don’t you? I’m sure your staff would enjoy it. Hotel stay, something fun and outdoors, and there are places a reasonable drive from here.”

She truly had no idea how Elizabeth would react to any of this. “I’ll- I’ll think about it.”

“And don’t let Nadine beg off.” Russell added. “I know she likes to think she’s an old battleax that doesn’t need a break, but that woman of yours needs a vacation more than everyone else.” He rubbed the top of his head as he stood, conversation ending. “I don’t think she’s taken a single day off since she came to DC, not even when her boss died.”

“Especially when he died.” Dalton added.

Nadine was floored at how candid they were both being in their concern for her. She maintained a generally adversarial relationship with Russell and sometimes wondered if Dalton even remembered who she was when she was in the building. “I’ll look into it.”

“Good.”

Letting herself out of the Oval, Nadine headed for the exit. Absently, she tugged at the front of her shirt, fanning herself to cool down a bit.

“Hey you.” Henry’s smooth voice reached her just as he took her hand and tugged her close. Nadine had no idea how to respond without making him panic or think something was entirely wrong. “Hot flashes again?”

“What?” Her brows pulled together.

Henry covered her hand and tugged at her shirt like she’d been doing. “It’s normal, Babe. I know you hate the idea of getting old, but it happens to all of us. Even you.” He pecked a quick kiss to her lips, but when she didn’t kiss him back, he pulled away. “What’s wrong?”

“No- nothing.” She tried to give him a convincing smile. She couldn’t deny her boss’s husband was a good looking man, funny and a good dancer too. It felt dishonest having his hands on her, even if she was in his wife’s body, when he wasn’t aware of the situation. “Do you think you could come by my office later tonight before I come home?”

“What? Why?”

“There’s something I want to sit down and talk to you about, with Nadine.”

He sighed. “Are you two back on better terms now?” He tugged her into his arms, hugging her. “She doesn’t hate you, you know. Some of this worry is your hormones, the doctor said that, right? And some of it is the anxiety?” He pulled away again. “What if we invite her to our place? I’ll make pancetta for dinner and we can talk about whatever it is over a glass of wine.”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “That does sound better. I’ll- I’ll talk to her.” And Elizabeth would probably feel more comfortable in her own home anyway.

“Good.” He squeezed her hand. “And remember, Babe, you’ll always be hot to me.” He grinned before walking away.

Nadine stared after him a beat before resuming the walk to the waiting motorcade. _Great_ , she thought to herself, _I get a body that finally works and I have to deal with menopause a second time._


	9. Chapter 9

Hurrying out of Nadine’s car, Elizabeth tightened the coat and scarf around her, making sure the hat and gloves were on as well. Nothing however was warming her from the blast of cold air. She would’ve tried to rush to warm up but feared she would draw more attention if she got hurt.

Her appointment, a late lunch where apparently she wouldn’t be expected to eat very much, was in a private restaurant near the Hill with George Wessel, a man she only vaguely knew by name.

George was the final contact to get their agenda through, so the goal of the meeting was to do whatever it took to get him agreeable. The drive had taken longer and she’d had to find a place to park, both things she was out of practice taking into consideration, so George was already waiting when she arrived at the table in the back.

“Nadine!” He stood, making her pause. He was a big man and for some reason that made her nervous. “I ordered a bottle of red just for you. Please, take a seat.”

“Thank you.” She slid into the booth after taking off her coat, stunned when he slid in beside her instead of returning to the side he’d been sitting on. “Where- where should we start of getting your boss to vote for us to have this funding, Mister Wessel?”

“Oh, please, it’s George, Nadine.” He lifted his arm and draped it across the seat behind her shoulders. “And what’s the rush, hm? How about we enjoy our lunch and then talk business on a full stomach?”

“I’m not particularly hungry.” _Was this why Nadine had pushed her to eat before she left for a lunch meeting?_ “I really need to know what would interest your boss to get his vote?”

He leaned in. “He doesn’t have any requests, but I have a few.” George laughed. “They’re the same ones I always give you.”

 _Always?_ “And you’ll get the same answer.”

His arm pulled away from behind her back and she breathed a sigh of relief, only for his hand to land on her leg. “Come on, why do you have to be like this? Don’t you know how deals are made in this city?”

Elizabeth found herself momentarily at a loss. She didn’t have anyone to call out for and she knew there was no way Nadine would ever tolerate such an invasion, but she had no idea how the other woman would put a man like George in his place without ruining their political control.

“I know you started taking these meetings instead of your hot mama of a boss just so you could play hard to get with me. I saw that look in your eyes the last time she and my boss were talking in the hall on the Hill. You couldn’t stop looking at me.” He leered. “I couldn’t stop looking at you either.”

“You need to go back to your side of the table.” She glared at him hard. “Or this conversation is over.”

“Then you won’t get your vote. I’ll tell my boss to vote against anything State needs for the rest of his tenure.”

“Take your seat, Mister Wessel.”

After a moment, he moved so he was across from her. “You know, you and your boss both seem to think that being a bitch is the way to make things happen and I can see it has worked for you so far. Just keep in mind that eventually that luck will run out and when it does, you’ll have nowhere to turn because you’ll have burned all your bridges.”

She was both unnerved at how brazen he was being and a small amount curious just how far he would go. “Tell me then how to… correct… my ways?”

The grin that followed was predatory. “I have a place across from the Hill, Wendy doesn’t know about it and it’s listed under an untraceable corporation. You could come back with me to finish this conversation in private and I could show a thing or two about how to put that hot little body to better use around here.”

=MS=

Too unsettled to head straight back to work, Elizabeth drove to the little park she often met Henry in and just sat in the car. She was certain that in her own body, she’d be on the verge of a breakdown by now, but Nadine’s body felt oddly calm. George had been a horrible experience. What she couldn’t wrap her head around was that Nadine had willingly met with him.

What she wanted more than anything right now was to be able to call Henry and hear his voice, or even feel his arms around her. Well, maybe not more than coffee, that would be nice right about now too.

She just felt lonely and unnerved and reluctant. Reluctant to go back to the madhouse that had been Nadine’s day so far, reluctant to find out how much bigger that pile of work had grown in her absence.

Eventually, the cold seeped in and she put the car back in gear, aiming it back to the Truman and the responsibilities she had to face. It was odd being out in the world alone. She hadn’t been alone a moment since taking this job, there was always Henry or her detail or a member of her staff on hand somewhere whether she wanted them or not. Most of the time she didn’t want them at all.

As she stepped into the elevator, wondering to herself if she’d have time to use the restroom before someone else needed her, the phone rang and she dug it out. “Yes, Jay?”

“Are you on your way back?”

“In the elevator as we speak.”

“Okay, good. I’ll meet you there.” He ended the call without saying anything more. When the door slid open, he was leaning on the frame. “Abby called, Chloe’s sick and I need to get her.” He held out a stack of files. “I won’t be able to finish getting through this before MSec needs it for the ride home tonight. Blake said she was scheduled to head out at ten past seven to get home for a bite to eat. It’s not too much leaving it for you, right?”

Her mind went to what she already knew of the state of Nadine’s desk. “You really can’t get it finished on your own?”

“Abby says she’s running a fever, probably an ear infection. If that’s the case, she’ll be clingy and it just won’t happen. Look, I’ll buy you lunch next week or something to make up for it.”

She debated a minute before sighing. “Fine. Give it here. I’ll get it taken care of.”

“Thank you so much, Nadine. You’re a life saver!” He dumped the six inch pile of files into her arms.

Elizabeth felt the way the added weight on top of the bag on her shoulder made her back and shoulders twinge. By the time she got to Nadine’s office door, Daisy was hovering, waiting for her. “Daisy.”

“Got a minute?” She followed her in anyway and took a seat. “It’s about Matt.”

“Matt?” She dropped Jay’s files onto the desk, doing her best not to react to the additional five inches of files in her inbox.

“Yeah. I just… He’s wanting to try and go on another date but… That’s a crazy idea, right? We just got the work dynamic back to something not weird, you know? I don’t want to ruin that and I don’t want you disappointed in me for changing my mind. Again.”

Daisy looked so hopeful. “I won’t be disappointed.”

“Really?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “No.” She looked around Nadine’s office and then back to Daisy. “Get back to work, Matt is a problem for after hours and I have things to do.”

Daisy laughed. “Right. Of course. Thanks, Nadine.”

She watched her leave and started for the door to head to the bathroom only to have Blake materialize.

“MSec needs you in her office. The thing with POTUS was routine more than anything, which I expected, and she wasn’t angry after the pull-aside in the Oval that followed but that could be because I managed to get Henry to cross paths with her on her way out.” He smirked. “I’m really digging him working in the building over there.”

Elizabeth blinked. Often when she was at the White House, when she was herself, Henry and she bumped into one another after meetings. She’d never considered how or why that was until this moment. “Oh, good. And yes, it is nice, isn’t it?” She pointed to the hall. “I need to take care of something before I head down there.”

He misunderstood and began guiding her instead toward the office. “I already have tea waiting for you to save you time.” He led her clear to the door and then announced her presence to what he assumed was their boss.


	10. Chapter 10

Nadine wandered the office, shutting the doors as she passed them. She and Elizabeth had to talk to Henry before this went any further, there was no way she could go home and face the poor man without him knowing the truth, as insane as the truth was.

Stepping into the bathroom, she stared at the reflection in the mirror for a good long while. When Elizabeth had first waltzed into this job, Nadine had been certain that she could do it miles better than this young academic. Taking the time to look, she could see where the job was aging Elizabeth. Up close, she could recognize the telltale hints of grey in her roots, she could see the lines around her eyes that were skillfully hidden behind makeup and reading glasses. She could feel, in the way Elizabeth’s feet and shoulders already ached, that the day wore on her, probably every day.

Stepping back into the office, she stared across the room. She could remember when Vincent had been confirmed as Secretary, how he’d brought her along for every step of the process as his dutiful Chief of Staff officially, secretly his lover. She’d helped him decorate this space, much of it Elizabeth kept either out of some sense of continuity or simple disinterest in changing what worked. She’d picked the open desk for him, partly to make him appear more accessible but also to dissuade a few of his fantasies that had been explored during his time as a Congressman.

She’d stated to him she was far too old to be on her knees under a desk anymore.

There was a small pile of work to get through, not nearly what she normally had in her own office. It worried her a bit. By this point in the day she had normally brought down two armfuls of documents that she had completed and needed final sign-off by Elizabeth and today there’d been nothing.

Blake’s sharp knock sounded just before the door popped open and he ushered Elizabeth in. “Anything else from me, Ma’am?”

“Not right now.” She watched the door shut and then focused on reading her own face. “How was Wessel?”

Brown eyes bore holes into her a moment, a mixture of anger and something close to disgust swirling. “Did you know he was going to aggressively make passes and innuendos at me?”

Nadine frowned. “But he didn’t do anything physical, right?” She hoped he remembered their previous little chats and didn’t pick the one time she wasn’t in her own body to take things further.

“No.”

She let out a breath. “Good.” She nodded, turning away.

“Na- wait… Did you think he might?” The incredulity was obvious.

Nadine didn’t answer as she took a seat on the couch. “I wanted to talk to you about something. I ran into Henry over at the White House.”

“Please answer me.” She looked up and saw for the first time what the rest of the world saw when she’d reached her limit and was demanding the respect and answers she felt she deserved. Nadine felt she was getting a glimpse of the reason for some of the whispered comments she’d endured her entire career.

She sagged back. “We are lucky in the office and on this floor especially. Part of that is because I had a hand in hiring and some of it is because of the standards you and I expect. The reality… my reality that I worked hard to protect you from is that not all men with power respect women.” She swallowed. “Some feel women exist for one purpose alone.”

The office was quiet for a long minute. “What… what things have you protected me from?”

Nadine shook her head.

“I need to know.” Elizabeth snapped it angrily.

“It’s better if you don’t. You can’t do your job if you look at someone and know they like to play grab-ass or catch women in dark corners. You can’t impartially work with them if you know they’ve roughed a woman up or- or forced one to kiss them.”

Elizabeth was slack-jawed and silent.

“I am sorry about what happened today.” She sucked in a breath, surprised at how tight her chest felt. “I have worked hard to shield you from it.” She sucked in another breath, shaking her head to jostle loose the sudden moment of lightheadedness. “I will not give you more than that.”

Silence took over again until Elizabeth frowned. “There’s a bottle of Xanax in the drawer. If you aren’t careful, you’ll have a panic attack.”

“What?” The randomness of the comment struck her.

“You’re starting to panic, I can see it. Well… my body is anyway. I- I lie to Blake about being over them because I hate how he babies me. You need to take one.”

Confused but suddenly aware of how off she felt, Nadine stumbled to the desk and found the bottle. Once it was taken, she tried to restart her change of subject. “I talked to Henry while I was at the White House.”

“Yeah, Blake mentioned it.”

“Oh… Well, I suggested the three of us getting together tonight and he said to invite you over. I know under normal circumstances you’d never extend an invitation like that, but I thought you might find some comfort in having an excuse to be in your own house.”

“Thank you for that.” Nadine watched her take a seat carefully in a chair before continuing. “Blake also let on about him arranging for Henry to bump into me all the time over there.”

“Maybe we should read Blake in on this too.”

Elizabeth smirked. “Why? I’m learning so much about my own staff.”

“Some of these things work because you don’t know about them.” Nadine looked her over, trying to assess if there were any other issues. “You haven’t brought any of my paperwork in yet.”

“I’ve barely started on it.”

She blinked. “What?”

“Your office is like…” She waved a hand aimlessly. “Grand Central Terminal. Oh, and Jay had to leave so now I’m finishing his work so you can have it before you leave.”

Nadine tipped her head to the side. “Why?”

“Something to do with Chloe.”

“Ah.” She watched as Elizabeth slowly stood again. “I have no idea how we’re going to explain this to your husband.”

“Me either.”

Once she was alone again, Nadine tried to think what the worst was that could happen if Henry didn’t believe them. Well… having sex with her boss’s husband was definitely up there, being jointly committed for psychiatric care was, while reasonable, also high on that list too.”


	11. Chapter 11

It was Blake strolling into Nadine’s office that made Elizabeth realize the time and take a break from her position hunched over paperwork. Her, Nadine’s, back and neck ached something fierce and she had to shake her hand to work the stiffness out from gripping the pen so long. “What’s up?”

He arched a brow at her and took a seat. “That’s what I was going to ask you.”

“Me?”

“I know everyone’s entitled to a bad day, you just normally don’t let yours show so much which makes me worry about just how bad it’s really been.”

She had no idea how to respond to that in a way that would not make him worry even more. “It’s been a long day, but I do need to get going because I have something planned for this evening.”

Blake stared at her a moment longer before standing again. “Fine. I’m out for your luncheon tomorrow so I’ve kept the schedule lighter. Please don’t let her put a cover on my desk?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” He nodded. “Get some rest, Nadine. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good night.” Elizabeth watched him vanish up the hall before she shut down the computer and started gathering everything up to be dragged home.

=MS=

Staring out the window of the SUV, Nadine watched the city pass by. Blake had shuttled her and Elizabeth’s things all the way to the motorcade, no doubt to make certain she left. Now, the agents up front were talking quietly between themselves, leaving her again on her own.

At the house, she cautiously entered, listening to the sounds of the kids arguing as Henry started dinner. After so many years coming home to an empty house, it was a welcome change once she let herself enjoy it. Leaving her coat and bags, she made her way to the kitchen, walking on the other side of the island so Henry didn’t try to kiss her in greeting. “How was work?” She asked him, hoping it sounded right. It was how she imagined coming how to a husband and family would feel and she let herself play out the fantasy.

“Good.” Henry smiled as his eyes raked over her. “You?”

“Good.” Nadine nodded, watching as Stevie helped cook. “Need anything from me?”

Jason was the first one to laugh loudly. “Mom, really? I don’t think your cooking skills will endear you to your work friend.”

Stevie added on. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure giving Nadine food poisoning will make her not like you forever, Ma.”

Nadine smiled. “Okay.” She enjoyed cooking and a small part of her was sad she wouldn’t get to do so now, but she moved on, spotting Alison at the table working on her computer. Crossing the room Nadine sat at the end. “What are you working on?”

Alison looked surprised and then hesitant. “It’s nothing. Just my latest article for the paper.”

“I think this one is about the history of the shoe.” Jason mocked.

“Shut up you idiot! It is not!” She screeched. “Why are you always like this?”

Quietly, Nadine laid a hand on Alison’s arm to calm her. “Talk to me, not him.”

Ali stared a moment. “I- it’s about high heels. Why we wear different styles based on our bodies and so on.” She shook her head. “I know it’s nothing you’re interested in.”

Nadine blinked, surprised that one of Elizabeth’s kids could possibly think their mother wasn’t interested in them. “Tell me about it anyway.”

“But… don’t you have work to do?”

“It can wait.” She shifted in the chair, contorting herself into a position she hadn’t been able to sit in in years, and crossed her arms on the table. “I’m listening.”

Ali started out hesitant, but slowly became more exuberant as she shared the research on her topic. Nadine couldn’t help staring at her, soaking up her joy and simply enjoying getting to live vicariously through Elizabeth’s life. Beside Alison’s elbow, she spotted what looked like an art pad. “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing really.” Ali put it on the table between them and opened the cover. “I’ve been taking those classes and stuff to get better. I have a long way to go still.”

Nadine was amazed. It’d been a long time since she’d flipped through an artist’s sketchbook. “These are amazing.” She turned the book to different angles, looking at each picture closely. “You designed the outfits as well?” She glanced up.

Alison nodded. “We can’t do nude modeling, obviously, but we do get models that are in tank tops and shorts and that’s almost as good.”

“You know…” She flipped to the next page, absorbing the skill Alison had used in shadowing and angles on a model seated on a stool, one foot on the seat and the other foot dangling to the floor. “You should take some time to talk to Nadine about these.” She really wanted to get to talk to Alison as herself down the road. “Not tonight, she’s had a long day, but she’d really like these.”

Ali seemed to think about that a moment. “Really?”

“She has friends who studied fashion design, a couple of them became famous designers. When she was younger, she used to model for sketches.”

“Wow! I never knew that.”

Nadine couldn’t help smiling at how much Ali had lit up.

“I didn’t know you and Nadine had talked so much about personal things, Babe.” Henry stated from the kitchen. “See, you two are closer than you thought.”

It made her pause. For as much time as they spent together, she and Elizabeth never did really talk about normal things, which was a shame. She had more casual, and even personal, conversations with the other staff than she did with Elizabeth.

Ali was about to launch excitedly into more talk about her artwork when Elizabeth’s phone beeped. Instantly she clammed right up as her face fell. Nadine patted her arm again. “Just give me a second.” Unfolding, she tracked the phone to where Henry had plugged it in and struggled to read the message without glasses on. Her own name was on the screen giving her a heads up Elizabeth was almost there. Leaving the phone to charge, she returned to the table. “Nothing I need to deal with now.”

=MS=

She’d felt Henry staring at her through the meal, though she wasn’t sure why. Since everyone assumed she was Elizabeth, it was on her to keep the peace, peace the kids were at times determined to disrupt. Nadine thought she’d managed splendidly. Once the kids went to their rooms for the night, she asked if the adults should take the conversation to another room.

Henry stepped out to get more wine and she let Elizabeth lead the way into the front room, the both of them sitting on the sofa, leaving Henry to pick a chair. “So,” he stared as he came back in, “Babe, you said you needed to talk about something?” He looked right at her.

Nadine looked to Elizabeth and then realized that she’d have to start. “You aren’t going to believe this, but it’s true… Something happened last night to us and we don’t know how to explain it. We’re not sure how or why, but…”

“I think you will be who helps us figure it out.” Elizabeth finished.

“What is it?”

Nadine drew a breath. “We somehow switched bodies.” She watched as he stared in silence. “I know you don’t believe us, but I’m not actually Elizabeth… I’m Nadine.”

Elizabeth sat forward. “Ask something only your wife would know, no one else on earth.”

Henry blinked at them, clearly disbelieving. “Um… this is insane, but… What was the name of the stray dog at the diner we ate at all the time in college?”

Nadine turned to Elizabeth and waited.

“Pancakes.”

Henry shook his head. “Lucky guess or you could have been told.”

“Try another one.”

He thought a minute. “Who is Rochelle Lambert?” He clearly was looking for a specific response to that name because when what he thought were Nadine’s eyes darkened in instant irritation, his jaw dropped. “Elizabeth?” He watched as Nadine’s head nodded. “This is…” He looked to what looked like his wife. “This is why you panicked this morning when you woke up early?”

“Very much so.”

“How… how the hell does something like this happen?”

“I was hoping you would tell us.” Elizabeth answered. “I was hoping mister religion expert would have heard of this before and know how to fix it.”

“I have no idea.” His eyes kept bouncing between them. “Oh god… I tried to have sex with you this morning.”

Nadine put her hand up. “I get it, not exactly a situation people ever consider. I was already freaking out.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She reassured.

“Are… are both of you okay?”

“Confused, overwhelmed.” Nadine admitted, looking to Elizabeth. “It’s very uncomfortable being in a body that isn’t mine, doesn’t move like mine… Doesn’t eat like mine.”

“You’re doesn’t eat.” Elizabeth smiled gently.

“So what’s…” Henry was still trying to catch up. “What are you going to do?”

They exchanged a look before Elizabeth answered. “Live whatever life matches our body so no one else finds out. I’ll go back to Nadine’s place and she’ll stay here with you. Anything else would raise too many questions.” She paused. “And figure out how to change back as quickly as possible.” She leaned forward as if she wanted to reach out for him. “Henry, we are going to need your help figuring this out.”

Henry stood, reaching out for her hand for a moment before looking toward the office. “I just thought of something I read, I’ll be right back.”

Nadine turned in her seat, watching him before looking to Elizabeth. “Are you okay?”

She watched as Elizabeth seemed to consider that question. “I have no idea.”

“Look, I wanted to apologize for today in your office. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I am just so used to not really answering to anyone about how I live my life and it felt a bit like you were judging what I normally do.”

“Na-” She frowned. “I really hate that I can’t address you by name.” She huffed. “I wasn’t judging, I was just concerned. I don’t know if you’ve had this yet, but I can kind of feel when something is ingrained in your body and as much as I was horrified and disgusted by Wessel, your body didn’t freak out or act… repulsed I guess is the word I’m looking for. It wasn’t until we talked that I realized it might’ve been because you’ve become almost desensitized to it.”

“Maybe.”

“It hurts me and- and terrifies me that that’s true.”

Nadine didn’t know what to say to help ease her worry. Her life was what it’d always been and would probably carry on being the same once they returned to their rightful bodies. “We- we should discuss what we need to know for tonight and tomorrow.”

“… Yeah.”

“I’m guessing you took paperwork home? It is easier to work at home and between midnight and four-thirty Blake won’t text or call unless it’s literally bombs blowing up and people dying.” Nadine tried to think. “Oh, the jets in the tub help a bit with the pain after a long day. As far as tomorrow, Blake’s out of the office on my behalf but there’s still quite a bit of running around to do and some glad-handing, so I would suggest picking something a bit nicer to wear.”

“I think I can handle that.”

“I found it!” They both looked up when Henry rushed back in. “I won’t read it all, but apparently the two of you must’ve wished the same thing at the same exact time.”

“Such as?” Elizabeth pressed.

“Such as wishing the other understood your perspective. You are literally getting the chance to walk in the other person’s shoes.”

“For how long?”

“A week or until you’ve truly started to understand whatever it is you were meant to get.”

“A week.” Nadine thought that didn’t sound too bad. “And we’re a day in already. I think was can survive this.”


	12. Chapter 12

Letting herself into Nadine’s apartment, Elizabeth put the bags on the couch and debated where to start. Nadine had mentioned the tub and it did sound wonderful making use of those jets to ease some of the ache that she was, surprisingly, getting used to. Nadine had been a bit flip in her casual mentions her body; acting as if the pain was normal, referring to what Elizabeth assumed had been prosthetic surgeries as her bionic parts. She recognized it as defensiveness, she’d just never taken Nadine as the kind of person to get so defensive about… well, anything.

In the bathroom, Elizabeth started the water running before finding fresh pajamas, shivering against the chill in the room as she waited. Hours of work lay ahead of her yet, but a relaxing bath and a glass of wine would do wonders first. In the bedroom, a picture caught her eye that she’d missed that morning in her panic over what was going on. It was small, in a four by six frame hanging kind of out of the way. In it, two young girls had their arms slung around one another, both dressed in dance gear, their hair in buns.

Suddenly feeling like she was invade Nadine’s privacy, Elizabeth returned to the bathroom and undressed, sinking into the water before finding the buttons for the jets. With a sigh, she decided that she and Henry were going to have to get one of these.

=MS=

The clock ticked past two in the morning as Elizabeth carried on working. Nadine’s massive bed was covered in stacks of files, of which she’d managed to get through the majority finally, though her body was already renewing its objections to the way she was sitting. This was the quiet time, according to her Chief of Staff. Blake would be radio silent and no one would expect emails or calls returned yet. Not until the time she normally got up which was only just over two hours away now.

Half of the memos and notices she’d had to read, Elizabeth found herself totally clueless about. Never once had she given any thought about what Nadine did once she was out of sight. Academically she knew it was Nadine’s job, ultimately, to oversee staff and the general running of the Department, but there had never been a day where she’d considered what that meant.

There had been lengthy requests for posting changes from their diplomats with reasons running the gamut from changing family needs to one who’d broken things off with his mistress. He hadn’t actually said that in the letter, she’d finally texted Nadine asking who Delilah was to Martin Shoal and had received a single word reply- Mistress. A minute later had come another single work text, all caps and with five exclamation points- NO!!!!!

Elizabeth took that to mean Nadine knew exactly what the letter was about.

Under the requests had been copies of HR things, reports forwarded to her about time off requests which surprised her at first, with thirty-five thousand employees, it really wasn’t something that went through Nadine, but upon closer inspection, Elizabeth realized they weren’t normal requests. Almost all were extended medical leave of some sort and they all had notes pinned with them detailing how much accrued time the employee had versus their request.

She put the stack of requests to the side and kept working.

In the bottom of Nadine’s bag was a folder that looked a bit more beat up. It was thick and had binder clips and rubber bands around it to hold it together. Across the front was Nadine’s familiar handwriting, numbers written and then crossed out, a note that looked as if it’d been written quickly that simply mentioned a name and a phone number.

Tugging the folder out, Elizabeth thumbed through what she could of the corner without unbinding it. There were notebook pages, printed pages, some that looked like emails, and more than a couple that looked like police reports. Curiosity finally got the better of her and she carefully slid the rubber bands and then binder clips off.

The first page was a printed list of OPI’s steps for reporting misconduct.

The second page was a list of names.


	13. Chapter 13

Nadine trailed after Henry up to the master bedroom and hovered near the door, unsure what to do.

After a moment, Henry seemed to recognize her unease. “Come sit.” He gestured to the chair before sitting on the bench. “I know, for you especially, this must be horribly uncomfortable.” He drew a breath and pushed it out. “I can sleep in the guest room if you want.”

“Okay.”

He nodded. “The kids might find it odd, but I’ll think of an excuse. I’ll say I hurt my back again.” His eyes ran over her. “I can’t fathom what either of you are going through.”

She massaged her temple. “Today has been the most bizarre, most… off kilter day ever.”

“I bet.”

“Can I- Can I ask you something?” She watched him nod. “This morning and tonight, what did I do… wrong? What did I do that wasn’t Elizabeth?”

He huffed out a small laugh as he thought about it. “Well… Elizabeth is not an early riser, more often than not she stays in bed until either I drag her out or a phone call propels her out. Stevie was a bit curious when you were up and ready so efficiently.” His mouth quirked into a grin. “She drinks a lot of coffee, usually at least one mug before she leaves and one for the trip in, though she’ll dodge me on real breakfast when I make it. She acts like I don’t know she eats something bad for her at work.”

Nadine felt her brows rise. “That explains Blake’s obsessive antics over her mornings.” She actually hadn’t put two and two together on that one.

“Yeah… It might be hard for you, but El- she’s very tactile; hugs and kisses the kids, myself, especially when she’s bothered by something. I know you aren’t comfortable with all that, but it’s something to know that the kids will kind of expect it. I’m sure we can come up with a believable excuse for you not wanting touched for a few days.”

It was the way he said it that made her give him a curious look. “What do you mean?”

Henry paused. “I… She told me you aren’t comfortable being touched.”

“… She did?” She had no clue why Elizabeth would think that. Never once had she asked or stated anything remotely close to something like that. “Why would she think that?”

It was his turn to look a bit confused, his speech slowing as he shared. “I’m not sure… She never really said anything specific that I can recall, she just has talked about how you keep yourself kind of apart from everyone else. I- I think she mentioned once about a dinner out on a trip, it was a bit celebratory and you sat and stood away from the other staff.”

Nadine stood and paced a moment, winding up resting back on the window seat. “Our trip to Spain?”

“Maybe.” He nodded.

She sank her face into one hand. Spain had been on the agenda a month into Elizabeth’s tenure, they’d been finally getting on good terms, but as the first trip overseas and with several diplomats to impress, they’d all been nervous. Elizabeth had put on the charm and won everyone over, as Nadine now knew was her style, and they had been a bit celebratory. “My god, she’s thought that this whole time?” She asked softly before looking Henry in the eye. “I remember the trip.” She sighed. “Matt and Jay have a very deep love of Spanish alcohol, which they’d spent that night sharing with Blake. They also tend to be a bit… gregarious with their joy.”

“So…”

“They were all drunk. Very, very drunk. As in- hung over and the reason we ended up delaying the flight back, drunk. I lied to her and said it was mechanical issues that delayed the plane, but there was no way any of them could get on board until they’d sobered up. I didn’t really even care about them being miserable on the plane, would’ve served them right. I just didn’t see the logistics of three hung-over grown men sharing one tiny plane lavatory to be sick in.”

“But what about the touching?”

“Henry-” She cut off, moving to shut the bedroom door before sitting back on the chair. “I have more pins and replacement parts in my body, my normal body, than you could probably imagine. All three of those men, while I love them like family, are all a great deal bigger and stronger than I am. Simply? I didn’t want to get hurt. Physically hurt. It wouldn’t have been intentional, but it could have happened so yes, I didn’t drink almost anything that night because someone had to be the adult and I did keep away from them, but it had nothing to do with not liking being touched.”

“Oh.”

“If showing some affection will keep the kids from becoming upset until things are right again, I’m fine with that, just tell me what they’ll expect.”

“Really?”

“Of course. What the kids need is always what comes first, right?” She looked away. “I can handle being a mother… I don’t think I was entirely despicable at it the first time. I doubt a few days will do any permanent damage in any case.” When Henry didn’t say anything else, she finally pulled her gaze back his way. “Which she didn’t know either.”

“You’ve never told her you have kids? Isn’t that- isn’t that something women share with other women to, I don’t know, break the ice?”

“I wouldn’t have the first clue. I was never any good at bonding with other mothers over…” She tossed her hand in the air. “Ear infections and crayon pictures… I’m sorry, Henry. I’m just so tired from today and I want nothing more than to be able to have my creature habits, but I can’t.”

“I understand.” He finally rose and moved to gather some clothes for himself. “I’ll be up the hall if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” Once he was gone and the door closed again, Nadine worked on changing for bed. She did her best to mentally distance herself from whose room this was. Almost to the bed, she stared down at Elizabeth’s feet a second before sitting on the floor, legs outstretched. Bringing her hands together, she reached for her left foot and held there, focusing on the way muscles stretched and moved but with no pain.

The simple freedom brought tears to her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Nadine was certain that without Blake’s micromanaging, the day would’ve been madness. As it was, she was on hour nine of walking around quite literally in Elizabeth’s shoes and while Elizabeth’s body seemed plenty used to them, to her it felt like walking on stilts.

She was being rushed along the sidewalk to a last-minute glad-hand moment Russell had blitzed her with, agents surrounding her and Blake, who had a surprising grip on her arm. Even with Elizabeth’s height, all she could see was black overcoats in every direction. It made her feel claustrophobic, though in Elizabeth’s for-looks-not-function coat, she was glad for a buffer from the weather.

At the door to the restaurant, the agents kept their position as they all stepped through the double doors, though Blake did finally turn lose as he began to parrot almost verbatim Russell’s declarations of the purpose of this meeting.

“I know, Blake.”

He paused, surprised at her tone. “I told him, you have precisely thirteen minutes and then we must be going. I will be in the hall.”

“Thank you.” At the right door, the agents finally stopped and let her through. She didn’t even have time to be thankful for being free of them before she was shaking hands and most definitely reassuring potential donors that Dalton’s Foreign Policy plans aligned perfectly with their personal desires. This was, sadly, a game Nadine figured she was probably better at than Elizabeth. This was the kind of thing she’d done for Vincent for years as he rose through the ranks of government and even as he’d kept friends close that she now knew would’ve been donors for a presidential run. She could wine and dine with the best of them, put Russell to shame even, perhaps, and without the limitations of her own body in size, movement, and alcohol tolerance, she was even better at it.

She’d never been one to want power and control. Or rather, she never wanted to be the face people saw and knew. She controlled almost everything once she became Vincent’s Chief of Staff as a Senator and then once they became lovers, well, that was a different situation entirely. Under Elizabeth she had freedom to do so much because the other woman simply didn’t have any idea of what her job really entailed, though by the time this situation was righted, she had a feeling Elizabeth would know a great deal more.

Talking to the potential donors, Nadine wondered what it would be like to be Russell down the road. She didn’t doubt Elizabeth had what it would take to be president, but how would she feel having that much more reach? That much more sway on the workings of the country? She’d built on decades of political networking and connections to be able to do it successfully.

“Ma’am.” Blake’s voice interrupted her as she walked away from the last person. “It’s time to go.”

“Of course.” She let him lead her back to the confines of protection and out to the motorcade.

=MS=

Rushing along the sidewalk, Elizabeth kept Nadine’s coat pulled tight against the cold. She tried looking around for the right address, but between the midday crowd and Nadine’s size, she could barely see a thing. Not looking where she was going, Elizabeth collided with someone rushing the other way, tripping and crashing to the ground with a cry. The rushing masses barely even took notice, just stepping around her and her things as they’d strewn across the pavement. The person who’d run into her didn’t even stop to see if she was okay.

Standing carefully, she brushed herself off and gathered everything, feeling where Nadine’s body would probably bruise later as she carried on her journey, limping this time. Fighting her way to the side, she spotted a bench and managed to sit down with a hiss and a wince.

It was only her second day as Nadine, but Elizabeth missed her normal life. She missed waking up with Henry again this morning and missed having someone to turn to with a concern or even the odd comment. The file in Nadine’s bag had kept her awake all night, which she suspected had contributed to today feeling even harder than yesterday.

She was behind on paperwork again and had spent her missed lunch trying to work out where the hours had already gone. More than once, as yet another interrupted crossed the office threshold, she asked herself if this really was what Nadine dealt with on a daily basis. When her Chief of Staff came off as irritated or nonplussed, was she really thinking of the hundred things not getting done on her desk and the hours of work she’d have to drag home? After their conversations yesterday she now wondered if the wary way Nadine held every person at a distance, was it because she was so used to people who acted inappropriately that she simply expected it?

When the icy wind couldn’t be ignored any longer, Elizabeth stood and carried on moving. If Nadine could suck it up and keep the world working day in and day out, she could handle a few days. She just had to remember to ignore the pain.


	15. Chapter 15

Stepping off the elevator, Elizabeth bypassed Nadine’s office and headed straight for Blake’s desk, thankful to see him because it almost certainly meant Nadine was in. “How did the meeting go?”

Blake looked up, wearing an oddly calm look on his face and a small smile. “Today has been oddly easy, despite the interruptions from Russell Jackson.”

“How do you mean?”

Standing, he motioned for her to follow him into the waiting area where he took a seat and waited for her to copy. “I had everything on hand for shoring her up after that donor thing, but she just… was fine. It was the weirdest thing. Didn’t need the music or the emergency snack, I didn’t even have to ask the guys to take the long way back to give her time to shift gears. No anxiety, no… anything.” He leaned back in his seat. “Now she’s in there working on paperwork.”

Elizabeth looked toward the door, wondering for the first time just how bad she usually came across to him. “That’s good I suppose. I was about to head in and speak to her about a few things.”

Blake stood. “Go on in, she’s been busy and could probably use a break. I’ll bring in tea and a snack shortly.”

“Thank you.” She stood as well, letting herself into her office and pulling the door closer. “Can we talk?”

Elizabeth watched herself look up from the desk, curiosity clear on her own face. “Of course.” When she started walking toward the couch, she didn’t miss the look of panic in her own face as Nadine realized something was off. “What happened?” Nadine was at her side in an instant, taking her hand.

“I got knocked to the ground while I was out. I’m- you’re- fine. Nothing feels broken or damaged in any way really.”

“I was worried something like that would happen.”

“It’s only been two days and I… When do you sleep?”

“What?”

“I am exhausted and the amount of work you do here, it’s… I’m looking forward to the weekend.” She felt herself sag. “What do you do on the weekends?”

“I, um, often I catch up on paperwork so Monday starts fresh. If I have time I stop in for a yoga or pilates class. I try to go a few times a week, but with my schedule…” She trailed off. “Henry slept in the guest room last night. I didn’t know if… I didn’t know if you were worried about he and I.”

“I wasn’t. Why would you think… I never once thought you would take advantage of this nightmare. Were you really worried I would?”

“Well… I do have a record of sleeping with married men and I _am_ in your body right now.” It wasn’t an out of the realm of reason worry to her, anyway. “He and I did talk, however. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong trying to pretend to be you. As we talked, I realized that you and I never have just gotten to know one another and that’s my fault. I think I inadvertently created an environment where you don’t feel comfortable speaking freely with me.”

“We’ve been fine.” Elizabeth insisted.

“Are you sure?” Nadine watched her nod. “Well… Dalton thinks you should take a vacation or drag the whole senior staff away for some down time.”

She laughed at that. “Don’t tell me. Camping? Did you hear what he used to do to us at CIA?”

“He told Russell in front of me.”

Elizabeth snickered again. “Can you imagine any of the staff camping?”

“I said as much. Russell suggested a ski lodge. I didn’t commit.”

“Skiing wouldn’t be so bad. Except…” Elizabeth studied her own face. “Can you ski?”

Nadine shook her head. “I’ve never been and I shouldn’t ski.”

“Not to mention the freezing weather.”

“That too. Obviously that’s a conversation for when you can be you and talk to Henry again like normal. I just wanted you to know in case it gets mentioned by either of them.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I think, once everything is back to rights, we should get drinks and do better at really taking the time to know one another. As- as friends.”

Elizabeth could see how desperately Nadine was wanting that. “I’d like that.”

“And whatever it is that you feel you can’t share with me because you think I won’t understand or maybe won’t… I don’t know… Care?” Her brows pulled together as she hoped Elizabeth understood. “Please don’t hold back from me. So far I’ve learned quite a few things about you that I really wish I’d known and I’ve- I’ve seen where I’ve failed to tell you things about myself.”

“Like how you carry around a file of incidents OPI doesn’t pursue?” She wasn’t snide when she asked it, just curious. “I found it in your bag last night.”

“I don’t normally carry it with me.”

“But why do you have it?”

“I can’t protect women in this city from the things I-” She cut off a moment. “From the things I know happen. What I can do is put the fear of god into the men who do them and their supporters. Most of them have wives who do not know about their dalliances, or are victims themselves, and just making sure they know they are being watched keeps many of them in line.”

Elizabeth let that roll around in her mind a moment. “Doesn’t that put you at risk?”

Nadine had to pull away. She stood and walked to the front of Elizabeth’s desk. “Yes.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because there’s no one else in a position to even try who will.”

It felt like her heart was breaking. “Nadine…”

She whirled around, anger and fear rushing to the surface. “You can’t use that!” She clamped her mouth shut a beat before trying to calm herself. “That has to be you.”

“I’m not the one letting herself be tortured and- and assaulted for some insane sense of duty. I’m not the one who is literally, what, breaking under the weight of this every day? For who knows how long and- who knows why.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why does HR send you copies of extended medical leave requests?”

Nadine blinked. She hadn’t realized those were being sent up already. “I make sure employees have the time banked they need.”

“How?”

“I shop around for people who don’t want their time… I also give all mine away to parents who need it.”

Elizabeth dropped her face into her hands. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“I don’t use it.”

“So I heard.” Making a decision, she sat upright again. “Tell me something about you. Tell me something I maybe should know or I’ve misunderstood about you.”

“What?”

Elizabeth waved her hand, gesturing for her to speak.

“I, um…” Nadine had to think, but then decided to settle on what she’d told Henry the night before. “Despite the things you are aware of now, I don’t dislike being touched by the people I know, the ones closest to me. When I’m comfortable with someone, I can be a surprisingly tactile person too.”

Whatever she’d expected Nadine to give up, that hadn’t been on the short list. “Really?”

She gave a small nod. “I’m guessing, based on what Henry and I discussed last night, that you misconstrued something early on as me wanting to keep physical distance with everyone, but there was a bit more to it than that.” With a sigh, she returned to the couch. “I didn’t know Blake at all then, but I did know Jay and Matt. When they get drunk, they get…goofy.” She chuckled. “You had no clue, and they don’t either, but now you know that I’m kind of easily injured. Matt… had been known to lift me off my feet before, not maliciously, just…drunk.”

Elizabeth started a second as it all came together. “I see.”

“And it’s not that I don’t relate to them, I actually go out drinking with all of them from time to time… Sometimes quite often. When it’s a drink or two, it’s fun, but when they drink that much I guess I get a bit maternal and feel the need to look after them.” She bit her lip a moment before pushing forward. “Matt is only a few months yonder than my own son, so I feel a bit protective of him especially.”

“You… have kids?”

“I do. And that is a much bigger conversation that should involve alcohol and our correct bodies.” Ending the moment with a laugh, she stood and moved away again. “You know, assuming we aren’t switched back by then, we’ll be going to the state dinner as one another.”

Elizabeth hadn’t thought of that. Looking down at herself, she mused aloud. “Maybe this once we should get ready together.”


	16. Chapter 16

Friday had gone more smoothly for both of them if only because they both figured out a way to get through and pass back and forth the few duties that wouldn’t draw attention. Nadine was still on the verge of panic over the amount of work Elizabeth wasn’t getting through, but decided that just this once it was going to have to be okay.

Going into Saturday morning, she found herself in the kitchen making eggs which were, according to Henry, the one thing Elizabeth was actually really good at making. Faking it as mom to the kids was the best part of the switch, it made her remember when Roman was young and didn’t hate her.

Alison had bombarded her with fashion things, exuberant over her mother's sudden interest. A few days as Elizabeth, and her own memories of being a busy parent, and she could see how the middle child could be easily overlooked, especially with Jason around.

Once breakfast was over, the kids all vanished to their lives and left she and Henry alone in the house. “I’m sorry about earlier.” Henry repeated once the coast was clear. Early that morning, still half asleep at least, Henry had caught her by the coffee pot in a quick hug and kiss before remembering and yanking himself away as if he’d been burned. “I swear I really forgot because I wasn’t awake yet.”

For herself, Nadine had been too stunned by his sudden appearance and actions to respond at all and had only stood frozen in place. “I suppose it was bound to happen once.”

“What would you like to do for the weekend?” He shifted the subject. “Often we go grocery shopping or take a walk. There really isn’t anything in particular.”

“Does she ever do yoga or anything?”

He laughed. “Yes. Sometimes at home, occasionally she goes to classes. Mostly she works out when she has a chance.”

She eyed the open expanse of the downstairs. “There’s something I really want to try, but I… I don’t want witnesses.” She ducked her head. “I just really… I’m not sure if her body will even do it.”

“Do what?”

“Dance. Part of dancing is muscle memory, so I don’t even know if I could do anything close to what I used to be able to do, but… I really want to try.” She glanced back up at him to find him studying her curiously.

=MS=

Elizabeth dragged the afghan like a cape around her through the apartment. It was so quiet, something she wasn’t used to at all. There was a mountain of files begging for her attention, but she wanted to do anything for the time being besides paperwork.

Anything that involved warming up.

From what Nadine had shared, the weekend was filled with errands that didn’t get completed during the week, work, and then reading or watching a movie. All low energy and calm. For as crazy as the weekdays apparently were, Elizabeth suspected that Nadine turned inward to recuperate at the weekends.

Curling up as best she could on the couch, she ran their conversation at the office through her head yet again. Henry had been at her before about simply talking to Nadine about things because surely she’d understand, but she’d been adamant that there was nothing they would have in common. Without the flood of hormones and anxiety sloshing around her brain, his words made sense. Nadine was a few years older than herself, of course she’d understand hot flashes and mood swings and everything else. Probably right down to the worries about growing old. Now that she’d been in Nadine’s body for a bit, seeing her dressed down in the mirror and feeling the aches and pains, Elizabeth realized that she should have known without being told that she wasn’t alone in dying her hair to hide the grey or applying skin creams that were probably bogus in some vain attempt to keep her face looking younger. She wasn’t the only one expertly covering crows feet and laugh lines.

She felt a bit ridiculous now for ever thinking she was.

Looking around for something to do that didn’t feel like invading Nadine’s privacy any more than she already was, Elizabeth paused as she reached for a book. That night in her office as she’d been so frustrated over having Vale as one of their votes, she’d wished Nadine understood why there were some men you couldn’t trust. It’d never one crossed her mind that Nadine just might understand more than even she knew.

She’d simply added the problem to Nadine’s list to be solved and hadn’t looked back. It’d been late already, but a half hour later she’d gone home to bed, leaving Nadine to simply fix the problem she perceived and with no good explanation for the additional trouble. Just as Jay had done a few days ago, she’d dropped it in Nadine’s lap and walked away.

And Nadine never once complained about either.

Ignoring the book, Elizabeth straightened up to look at the mountain of work on the table, work she’d fully intended to let go until they’d switched back and Nadine could handle it. And she’d hazard a guess that Nadine wouldn’t say a single word about that either.

Pushing the loneliness and cold and pain out of her mind, Elizabeth stood and found a pen, taking a seat at the table. Whenever they got their bodies back, she planned on there being no work for Nadine to catch up on.

=MS=

Henry hadn’t been able to resist. Once music had started playing in the living room, he sat on the top step right where he could see down but was mostly hidden in the shadows.

He had to keep reminding himself that that wasn’t his wife down there, but once Nadine started, it became easier to remember. Even inside a body that had never danced a step in its life, the mind still knew what to do. He wondered if it was because Nadine had grown accustomed to forcing her own body to do things it no longer did willingly that she could still look graceful now. Slowly and with great care, she twirled and dipped, using the furniture at times to keep balance. When her face turned in his direction, he saw the telltale tracks of tears. Realizing just how private of a moment this really was, he silently slipped back upstairs again.

If this was hard now, he knew that knowing it was going to end very soon had to be even harder.


	17. Chapter 17

Scrolling down the list on the phone, Elizabeth made sure each item was checked off that Nadine had sent over. They were both going to get changed at the office, something she was used to but Nadine never did. Staring at the bed, she gave the dress and everything that went along with it one last once over before loading the garment bag and duffel. The weekend had been productive, she’d gotten through every inch of that paperwork and had done her best to keep the apartment scrubbed clean. There had been times she’d actually forgotten about Nadine’s limitations and frozen as sudden pain shot through her. As the weekend progressed, the bruises from her fall had blossomed into a rainbow of colors that hurt as well.

Turning back to the bathroom, she finished getting ready for work. Staring at Nadine’s reflection under the bright vanity light, Elizabeth wondered for a minute what it would feel like if they never switched back. She and Henry had built a happy life that she loved and while it wasn’t the job she’d been looking for, she had fallen in love with that too. She didn’t particularly care for being cooped up and contained every hour of the day and rebelled against it often, but… maybe everyone was doing what they thought was best to keep her safe.

Nadine had been protecting her, not just in the literal sense from people who would wish to do her real harm, but in the figurative sense too so she could do her job without bias or fear. Her detail was there because she was fourth in line for the presidency, she hadn’t realized how much of a deterrent their presence was either.

=MS=

Someone knocking on the bedroom door caught Nadine’s attention as she worked on getting dressed. “Yes?”

“Mom?” Alison stepped into the room, clearly not bothered to see her mom standing in a skirt and bra. “Which dress did you pick for tonight?”

It took all she had to fight the instinct to cover herself. Of course Ali wouldn’t think anything of it because as far as she was concerned, nothing was different. “I, um…” She looked over the dressed hung on the back of the door. “The blue one I think.” It was a wide ball gown that draped off one shoulder, something she was sure Elizabeth would pick.

“Yay! Can I pick your accessories?”

“Of course.” She smiled as Alison darted to the vanity. “I’m getting changed at the office, perhaps you could help me get everything together?”

Alison laughed. “Like you even have to ask!”

Nadine carried on putting on a suit for the day until Ali appeared again looking thoughtful. “What’s up?”

“I just… Do you really think Nadine would even want to talk to me about my designs?” She looked as though she’d already been rejected. “She has her own life I’m sure and I’m just a kid.”

Come here.” She abandoned what she’d been doing and opened her arms to pull Ali into a hug. This was the part, Nadine realized, that was going to hurt. She’d forced herself to forget wanting to belong in a family, wanting to be a parent, just like she’d forced herself to forget what dancing felt like. “She will absolutely want to spend time with you.”

There was so much about Elizabeth she understood better now and she thought maybe that was the point of their joint nightmare, but she was also realizing a thing or two about herself as well.

“I have to finish getting ready.” She pulled back and looked Alison in the eye. “I love you and I’m-” Her voice caught at the sudden well of emotion. She bit back a mental curse at the sudden hormone-driven shift in emotions. “I’m so happy to be your mom.”

“Oh, Mom!” Ali flung her arms around her again. “I love you too!”

=MS=

Nadine was surprised when she stepped off the Elevator to find Elizabeth already waiting for her, just like she normally was. “Good morning.”

Her own face smiled back happily. “Good morning, Ma’am.” There was amusement in her eyes. “I thought there were a few things we could discuss from the weekend before the morning meeting.”

She had no idea what had happened over the weekend that had Elizabeth suddenly acting the part so accurately. It was a bit disconcerting. AS they walked, Blake appeared and traded coffee cups, pulling Elizabeth’s coat off her.

“I’ll pop down in a bit and get your things from the motorcade, Ma’am.” He informed.

“Thank you, Blake.”

He gave a quick nod. “Since Nadine brought her things in as well, I stored them in your closet for her. She shared that the two of you would be getting ready together later on.”

“Yes. We thought it would be more efficient and decided to give it a test run for future events.” She met her own gaze, hoping Elizabeth would understand. “It seems a bit silly for Nadine to drive all the way across town and back when we have plenty of space to both get ready here.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Plenty of space.”

Blake looked between them as if he suspected he was missing something. “Okay. Well… I’ll just go get your things then.”

Nadine only grinned and carried on to Elizabeth’s office, waiting until they were behind a closed door to say anything. “I have no idea how much longer this is going to go on, but we really are missing a golden opportunity to mess with all of them just a little bit.”

Elizabeth’s response made her wonder if she even knew her eyes could bug out in surprise like that. “You want to what now?”

She shrugged. “It just seems like such a waste to not do _something_. I don’t know about you, but the past few days have been stressful and… scary. Would it really hurt anything to have just a tiny bit of fun?”

Elizabeth’s jaw hung open for a full minute. “I- I don’t even know what to say.” She ended it with a surprised laugh.

Sobering a minute, Nadine took a seat. “There is something I wanted to say to you, without dancing around things or- or me being defensive.” She patted the couch. “Sit? Please?”

“Okay.”

“First, you can tell me anything, Eli-” She shook her head at the near slip up. “Whether it’s that you miss your kids or that you feel caged and need a break,” she gestured around the room, “or that menopause sucks.” She watched Elizabeth duck her face and chuckled. “I’ve been there. I’ve worked ninety hours a week and longed to get home to my family, I’ve wondered when I’d get a moment of peace. I’ve definitely felt like a walking disaster when mood swings and all those other horrid symptoms took control. I’ve…” Nadine debated opening herself up any further but then decided that if she didn’t take that leap first and start talking, it might never happen. “I’ve longed for nothing more than to be wrapped in someone’s arms at the end of a really bad day. I know what it’s like to have everyone think they know what I want or need better than I know myself. I’ve kept myself so closed off because it became a habit. I didn’t want people to know about me, and yes, I hated you at first, but I see now that in being that way, I’ve missed an opportunity at making a really good friend.” The room went quiet for several minutes.

“Wow. I- I don’t even know where to start.”

“You don’t have to…”

“No, I want to. Since taking this job I just… I’m surrounded by people all day and yet I always feel so alone. It’s not the same when people are obligated to talk to me. And I never considered that you had things you were trying to hide either. I just…” She drew a breath. “I really do want to do better.”

“I do too.”

“I miss Henry.”

“He misses you too.” She looked her over, knowing that at any minute Blake would come through the door again. “How was your weekend?”

“I finished all the paperwork that went home plus I found your reminder list in the kitchen, I wasn’t snooping, I swear, but I took care of all of it.”

Nadine blinked. “All of it? How?”

“Yes. And slowly. I understand now just how hard it is for you to tackle a few of those, I honestly was ready to die last night.” She chuckled to herself. “But I wanted there to be nothing hanging over you whenever this all goes back to normal. I’ve been dumping so much on you and I- I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to be a person contributing to your late nights and your pain.”

“I appreciate that.”

“How was your weekend? Did the kids behave?”

She smiled. “Poor Henry forgot Saturday morning and kissed me.” It had been shocking enough then, watching the amused surprise in front of her made it funnier now. “He apologized profusely. The kids were good. I have to say, I’m going to miss that part, the family part. I just… didn’t appreciate what I had when I had it. Speaking of appreciating what we have? Alison.”

“What about her?”

“She seemed so surprised at my interest in her interests. That shocked me a bit given how much you do obviously love your children.”

“Did she say something?”

“Of course not. She did share about her article and I got to see her sketches.”

“She showed you?”

Nadine nodded. “I told her to talk to me, real me obviously, sometime about them. I can’t draw to save my life, but I’m friends with Jacque Duval, we met when I was living in France. Back then he was barely an adult just dreaming of making clothes.”

Elizabeth furrowed her brows. “Wait. Jacque Duval as in… the label?”

“Yes.” A soft smile appeared. “There are parts of that story not appropriate for Alison, but yes. Through him I also became friends with Aleksi Borisov. They shared a flat for a bit, it’s one of the few secrets they’ve both kept from the world. Aleksi helped Jacque improve his lines when he drew, so it’s really they that should get some credit for one of the finest labels, I think, around.”

“Is that why you have so many items in your closet from him? Supporting a friend?”

Nadine shook her head. “He sends me the first of any new design he creates. Sometimes what I get is entirely different fabric to what he ends up using, so it’s truly one of a kind. He’s always done that.” She debated how much to say, but then remembered she wanted to do better establishing a friendship between them. “You’ve seen their sketches that have been sold and such?”

“Um, a few, yes.” She thought a moment. “Isn’t it a Borisov in your living room?”

“It is. That one is very old, one of their early pieces. It’s the only one like it, probably would sell for millions today. It’s never been turned into a print or anything, it was strictly forbidden.”

“It’s very erotic and yet… relaxed I guess. I was staring at it yesterday trying to find the right words.” The drawing was of a faceless woman stretched out naked, tangled in sheets. Even without a face, she’d been able to feel that the woman was asleep by the position of her limbs.

“It’s of me.”

“What?!”

“The day before they did that, I’d had rehearsal, a matinee, and then an evening show and they knew that I’d sleep clear past noon, so while I slept, they drew that. They said they wanted to capture my true essence, the essence all those people in the theater never got to see. Once they started to become known, I told them all those people were going to continue never seeing that essence and made them ship it to me. When I’m dead from something other than embarrassment, they can make money off it, until then, it stays in my living room. They have quite a few other pieces that are of me, but I’m not naked, so…”

“I’m… we’re going to need a lot of drinks, I think.” She laughed. “My life has been boring by comparison!”

Nadine checked the clock before carrying on. “Jacque published a book of original sketches as well. I have it at the apartment. If you look at them, you’ll realize he used me as his muse too, though I’m clothed in his created designs.”

Blake rushed in, hanging the garment bag in the closet and putting everything else in the bathroom, making Elizabeth stand. “I guess that’s a sign it’s time to work.”

“I guess so.” Watching Elizabeth walk out, Nadine wondered why she’d held herself back so much all this time.


	18. Chapter 18

Henry was sitting on the couch when she stepped out of the bathroom. “Hello.” She smiled his way. Elizabeth was already changed and had been waiting on her to step out as she was talking to Henry. “What’s left to do?”

Elizabeth straightened from where she’d been resting against the desk. “We should pull one side of your hair up.” She turned, showing off the loose bun. “Does this look okay? I know you usually braid a bit back, but I’m not as good with those.”

“It’s good. I didn’t see a clip in the bag.”

“Oh! There is one in the desk.” She rounded it and pulled it out quickly. “Let me.”

“Of course.” Nadine crossed the room and then sat so Elizabeth could reach. Just as Elizabeth was getting it pulled up, Blake rushed in and then paused, shooting a look to Henry.

“What’s next? Sleep overs and mani-pedis?”

Henry laughed. “Maybe. Is it time to get moving?”

“Yes.” Blake’s attention returned to them. “Are you ready?”

Nadine looked up at Elizabeth. “Are we?” It was going to be an odd night. She’d be the one on Henry’s arm playing the cute couple while Elizabeth would get to mingle and drink with the others. While they’d gotten changed, they’d discussed how a night normally went for them and exchanged some notes on what the other probably should know.

“I think we are.” Elizabeth turned away, taking Blake’s arm when he offered it while Henry offered his hand to pull her to her feet.

Once the other two had stepped out, Henry put a bit more space between them. “This is where things get a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

She chuckled. “We’ll be okay. It’s not like we’ve never danced together or carried on a conversation at one of these things before.”

“That’s true.”

“And to that end, you get to dance with her for the exact same reasons. It’s not going to look odd if you do it.”

Henry offered his elbow to her. “Good point. So, I get to dance with and talk to both of you.”

“Just like normal.” She let him lead the way. “Kind of.”

“Of course, I don’t dance with Nadine quite the same way I dance with my wife.”

When she looked at him, he was wearing a grin. “Tonight you will. I’ve seen what the two of you get up to and while it’s wonderful that you love one another so deeply… I’m not the one in love with you and I’d rather your hands keep in to the junior high areas only.”

“I promise to be good. Above the belt all night.” As they reached the elevator, he turned to her. “The staff all looked extra jumpy when I came in, did something happen today?”

A smile blossomed across her face but she didn’t answer until they were safely inside. “We might have had a little fun today.”

“…Doing?”

“Well, they are all so used to Nadine and Elizabeth being each a certain way. Predictable. We decided to make tiny changes, not enough to really worry them but enough to leave them questioning things.”

“Like their own sanity?”

“Maybe.”

“What’d you do?”

“Well… we had lunch in since we planned to work through. I’m pretty sure Blake thought seeing Elizabeth eating a salad as lunch meant the end of times had come.”

“I bet.”

“It was nothing though compared to the looks they all wore watching who they thought was Nadine munching on greasy fries and a BLT.”

“You eat bacon?”

“Ah. It was turkey bacon, she did ask. But they didn’t know that as far as I know.”

The doors opened before he could ask anything else and together they stepped into the hall and toward the dinner. “Let me know if I need to change anything I’m doing.” Henry whispered as he took her hand.

=MS=

“Is this okay?”

Leaned into the curve of Henry’s shoulder, Nadine raised her wine glass to hide her lips from anyone who might be watching. “You ask me that again and the answer will be no. Relax, Henry. I promise to speak up if there is anything at all.”

She watched him nod. “It just insanely feels like I’m cheating.”

“She is sitting eighteen inches away on your other side, I’m pretty sure if _she’s_ not okay with something, she will also speak up. It’s not like either of us are known for simply biting out tongues.” Elizabeth must’ve heard because she turned, grinning at her. “See. Relax, have a drink, you are fine. I plan on enjoying this evening.” He looked down at her and she smirked, leaning in to speak even softer. “Her body’s alcohol tolerance it miles greater than mine.”

“I see. And you plan to enjoy that?”

“Very much so.” She smiled at him. “I also plan on doing more dancing, so don’t get too comfortable.”

=MS=

Somewhere in the crowd of party-goers, Nadine had lost sight of Elizabeth an hour ago, but hadn’t given it much thought. She’d been enjoying dancing with Henry and talking with people she didn’t often get much chance to talk to. These events where she often was the stand-in for Elizabeth anyway were an area where their lives naturally crossed, so she was good at it.

Spotting Matt and Daisy tucked into a corner, she rerouted from her search to have a word with them. “You two can not sneak off tonight.” She stated as she got close. “And please no slipping off for half-drunken sex in some empty room.”

The look on Matt’s face reminded her that they didn’t know she was Nadine. “She told you?!”

Daisy was frowning. “She said she wouldn’t say a word. We- we’re sorry, Ma’am. It won’t happen again.”

“It’d better not.” She started to back off, but realized that for once she might be able to truly impress upon them just how unprofessional what they did was. “I really can’t believe two of my senior staff, the two who understand the most about how important it is to never forget the message of our office, would do something so unprofessional at a diplomatic function.”

“We’re sorry.” They both responded.

“Now, have either of you seen Nadine?”

“Um, she was charming some diplomats over by the dessert table. She’s… really enjoying herself this evening.” Daisy grinned. “I’ve never seen her like that. Jay was with her to make sure nothing happened.”

“Thank you.” Weaving between tables, she kept her eye out for Jay or her own body, pausing mid-step when she heard the sound of her own laugh.

“Oh thank god, there you are! Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Blake’s soft yet panicked voice drew her attention.

“With?”

“Pod-Nadine.” He glanced across the way and then leaned closer. “Is she drunk?”

“What?”

“Come on.” He took her arm and pulled her closer.

She spotted Jay first, standing anxiously by a chair. In the chair, hair now falling in messy waves down one side of her face as she beamed happily, cheeks rosy and eyes glassy, sat Elizabeth in her body. Her drunk body. Just looking at her was giving Nadine a headache. “Can you and Jay quietly get her out to the hall? I’m going to go find Henry.”

“W- why?”

“So he doesn’t worry about where I’ve gone.”

“Okay.”

She watched him start speaking to Jay before searching for Henry and tugging him close. “She’s drunk!”

“I thought that was _your_ plan.”

Nadine rolled her eyes, keeping her voice soft. “My plan was to enjoy getting to drink, not to get drunk. The difference is I’m pretty sure Elizabeth could out-drink a ship of sailors on fleet week whereas I can not. My first concern is she’ll say something to give away what’s going on.”

“Where is she now?”

“I asked Jay and Blake to take her out of here. I’m going to go see how much damage has been done.”

“Need help?”

“Probably.”

It didn’t take them long to find where Elizabeth had been taken. As they walked up the hall, Nadine watched her try to walk around, bumping into things that she knew would hurt later once the alcohol wore off. Catching her by the hands, she pulled her to a chair. “You are so very drunk.”

“Do you think so?” She slurred.

Nadine wanted to be angry, but found herself amused instead. “Why are you drunk?”

“Guys kept giving me drinks.”

“You can say no.”

“But…” She looked up at Jay. “He thought I was funny.”

“I don’t often get to see you drunk, Nadine.” He grinned until she shot him a dirty look. “I’m sorry for not doing something sooner, Ma’am.”

“I’m not sure I’m okay sending you home alone. You could get hurt.” She looked to Henry. “Could you take her back to my office and keep an eye on her? When we leave, we’ll drop her home.”

“Sure.” He tugged Elizabeth to her feet, holding her carefully when she swayed. Nadine knew they had to keep up the pretense of it being her he was helping.

“Who knew Nadine could be fun.” Blake uttered as they watched the pair walk away.

All she could do was roll her eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Stiffly, Nadine tried to find her way out from within the blankets on the bed, tossing them back only to scramble to yank them back up again. The bedroom was dark and so very cold, she didn’t even know the McCord house got that cold. “Did a window get left open?” She stumbled out of bed, nearly falling to the floor with the way her body refused to move. Sinking slowly down, she held her head in her hands and groaned against the pressure. “Fuck.”

She tried to remind herself that she probably wasn’t dying. “Henry?” She hoped she wasn’t dying anyway.

The house was completely silent, which was odd. Forcing her eyes open, she looked toward the window only to find a wall instead. Trying to stand again, she only managed to crawl back on the bed, gasping and swearing at the way her head throbbed. “What the hell did I drink?”

She couldn’t remember drinking hardly anything at all, that had been Elizabeth… Fumbling desperately around the nightstand, she connected with a cell phone and tapped it awake, poking blindly until the camera app opened and she could see her reflection on the screen. “What?”

Was she really herself again? Had she been not herself to begin with? Alcohol had been known to leave her with some very vivid dreams.

Checking the clock, she groaned again, forcing herself out of the bed properly this time, holding onto anything she could reach as she fumbled her way to the bathroom. She’d made it a point to never allow being hung over to make her physically ill, ever, it had been a point of pride in her self-control for decades, but this morning she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be such a sure thing. Her head felt like someone was jackhammering an axe blade into her skull and in the rest of her body, her pain seemed cranked to fifteen. Neither of those were aiding the sloshing, swirling feeling in her stomach.

Steadied over the sink for a moment, she carefully breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth several times before filling a glass with water and finding the pills she used for getting through mornings after nights drinking. Waiting a minute, she prayed it all stayed down before stripping naked and heading for the shower. The steam would help get her body moving and maybe clear her mind a bit.

She only found herself gagging against the swimming feeling a few times as she sat on the bench washing herself, the closest she allowed herself ever to getting sick. Once she was clean and dried, it was a bit easier to get around and find something comfortable yet professional to wear. Nothing about her memories of the dinner made any sense, but that was a problem for later. Right now she had to work out if she was in any condition to drive to work.

=MS=

There were entirely too many blankets on the bed and she was sweating. Kicking everything off, Elizabeth shimmied out of her pajamas for good measure, determined to make it not so hot. The doctor had said it was normal, all normal. Normal to be suddenly embarrassingly sweaty in the middle of the day or to want to break down and cry anytime that-

Elizabeth sat straight up in bed, looking around.

Her bed. Her room. “Henry?!” She looked down at her hands and then pulled the ends of her hair forward. Blonde.

“I’m me again!” Shoving off the covers, she rushed to the door. Rushed! She could move freely again! Nadine had said Henry was sleeping in the guest room. Rushing down the hall she slammed the door shut and yanked the blankets back, waking him as she climbed on the bed.

“Wha- what are you doing?!”

“I’m me again!”

Henry laid very still. “I- um… What?”

“I’m me again, Henry! It undid itself!”

When she grabbed for his hands, he pulled back. “How- how can I be sure?”

“I’m your wife. Why would Nadine claim she was? She’d never do that to you, or to me.”

“I just- I need to be sure.”

“What will help?”

Henry shook his head, he really didn’t know.

“Okay. We’ll work it out. I just… I should get ready for work. Nadine’s probably going to want to talk.”

“If she can walk.”

“What?”

“You did do a number with the alcohol last night, if you’re really Elizabeth. She was awfully drunk when we dropped her off.”

“I can’t remember a thing.”

“I’m not surprised.”

She scooted off the bed. “I’ll just go then.”


	20. Chapter 20

Nadine felt like she was dragging and every inch of her body screamed as she shuffled into her office and flipped on the light. Keeping her coat on, she gingerly bent her body into the chair and simply stared for a bit at the wall. She needed to talk to Elizabeth and to the other staff about changes that needed made around the office.

She didn’t make a single move until Blake rushed by and then doubled back, looking her over. “Are you okay?” The sincerity was obvious in his face.

“I’ll live.”

“You got so drunk last night. I’m guessing you are so hung over this morning.”

“We’re not talking about it.” She gave him a hard look.

“Got it.”

“There is something I do want to talk to you about though.” She limply gestured for him to sit. “We need to do things differently around here.”

“Such as?”

“Such as giving the Secretary more freedom to do things. Have you ever considered how she’s almost a prisoner here?”

“I- I hadn’t.”

“I know you’re doing it to be helpful, but once she comes in of a morning, you make it so she’s essentially trapped in that office on her own all day unless something comes up. I know how frustrated you get when she vanishes, but you need to back off, Blake, and give her some space. Maybe instead of acting like she’s escaping you could, I don’t know, set her free a bit.”

“As in… what?”

“Wait until she asks for her coffee or a snack. Or… keep the break room stocked and let her get it herself. Maybe think of a few different places around the building she can escape to where you know where to look if you really need her for something, but you can leave her be otherwise.” She studied him a moment. “Blake… you are very good at your job. The best in the city, in my opinion. She’s turned into a formidable politician in part because of you. But she’s still a person. A person who gets restless or lonely or a million other things… Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll correct myself.”

“Thank you.”

His brows pulled together. “You’re really okay this morning?”

“Not even a little bit.” She admitted. “I am in pain, freezing, and would like for you to detach my head.” She kept a straight face until he smiled and then she copied him. “I’ll be fine though. Get to work.”

“Right.”

=MS=

Stepping off the elevator, Elizabeth paused. It was odd not being greeted by anyone at all when she came in, even when she arrived early. Looking around, she veered right and looked in the break room where Blake was standing at the coffee machine. “Morning.”

He looked up with a smile. “Morning. Would you like a fresh coffee?”

“Um, yes please.”

He nodded almost absently. “I’ll bring it in if you want when it’s ready. There are bagels in here or donuts in the conference room. Oh! Nadine is in but she’s a bit under the weather today.” He smirked then. “I don’t think she’ll get through much work, but maybe after you drop your stuff, you might want to check in on her after last night’s performance.”

Elizabeth stared down at her bags, surprised he wasn’t rushing to offload them. “Yeah, I want to be sure she’s okay.” _Since it wasn’t even her fault she’s now hung over_. “Find me with the coffee?”

“Of course, Ma’am.”

On her way to her office, she ignored Nadine for the moment, but spotted Jay dropping his stuff at his desk. “See me a second?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

By the time she was doing putting her things away, Jay was wandering in. “Jay, I need to make some changes around here.”

“Ma’am?”

“I get it that being a dad is unpredictable, I don’t have any problem with you caring for Chloe. I just… When something does come up from now on? Please bring it to me instead of Nadine.”

“I-” He looked over his shoulder and back again. “Did something happen?”

“No. It’s just that she works sixteen hour days and then drags more stuff home. She doesn’t need our work added to that. If you need to care for Chloe like last week, that’s fine, just please bring it to me and I’ll either handle it or delegate. Okay?”

“Yeah… okay. I understand.”

“Thank you.” She watched him start to leave. “Oh, and Jay?”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

She wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it without causing more problems, but jumped in anyway. “I’m going to be telling Nadine that from now on, for certain meetings, I expect her to take you, Matt, or Blake with her and if she doesn’t I will have to be forced to reconsider her position in this office. If she tells you there is such a meeting on her schedule, I need one of you to make yourselves available.”

It was obvious he had no idea why she’d make such a demand, but he wasn’t going to question it. “Will do, Ma’am.”

After a minute, Elizabeth decided she’d stalled long enough and headed for Nadine’s office, letting herself in and shutting the door before turning around. “Boy am I glad to look at you and see that face again.”

“You could have returned it not hung over.”

Elizabeth couldn’t help grinning. “Sorry.” She took a seat. “First, are you okay?”

“I’ll live.”

“Besides your head. You’re still wearing your coat.”

“Oh… I can’t seem to shake the cold today.”

Elizabeth nodded. “We’ll get you a space heater in here.”

“They’re not allowed.”

“I’ll tell maintenance or whoever needs told that it’s medically necessary.” She insisted. “And the pain other than your head?”

“I didn’t realize we’d switched back when I woke up and tried to do too much, too fast. So…” She sighed. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck from that as well.”

“Sitting is okay?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll do the meeting in here then.”

“Ma’am-” She huffed. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll manage.”

“But you don’t have to. And from now on when you’re having a bad day, I want you to speak up so we can adjust to accommodate you. You don’t need to suffer unnecessarily. I also spoke to Jay and I’ll be speaking to the others, but they’re not to dump their unfinished work on you anymore. They’re to bring it to me. I also told him that for certain meetings, I expect you to take one of the guys from now on, no exceptions. There are three of them and one of you, if they can’t make it, you reschedule.”

“I don’t need protect-”

“You do.” Elizabeth frowned. “Nadine, you are important to us. We are going to look after you and look out for you. I also want you capped at twelve hour days. No matter what, we’ll pick up the rest. I’d rather it be eight or nine, but I think twelve is a reasonable middle ground. And here.” She put a business card on Nadine’s desk. “This is a sports therapist and masseuse. It’s a woman. I’ve told her that I expect you to meet with her at least twice a month, though weekly would be ideal. She can come to your apartment or here even if you’d like to use the gym. There is no out of pocket cost to you, so you have no excuse not to call her. She’ll work any hours, I’ve already explained how crazy our days can get.”

Nadine stared at the card. Her head hurt too much to take everything in and tears formed in her eyes. “Wh- why?”

“Because you are my friend and you are a good person who has been giving everything of yourself with no one around to give back to you. We're giving back now, it's going to be our thing. I know you are capable, but from now on if there's anything you need done around your apartment, Henry will handle it or you can hire someone if he can't do it. That's from him, not me. Also, I did talk to Henry about the skiing once he’d accepted I was me again and we’re going to take a week as the family and then invite the staff for a long weekend as well. I expect you to come, partly because you need the break and partly because it will give you a chance to talk to Alison like you wanted. I know you can’t ski, but you can sit by the fire and enjoy being around people who value you and want to be there for you.”

“I…” She was well and truly speechless. “Thank you.”

“I am very sorry for not appreciating you more, sooner, Nadine. You do so much around here for me, for all of us. I’m sorry it took a bit of insanity for me to see it.”

All Nadine could do was nod.

“And I’m sorry for something else too.”

She had no idea what else Elizabeth could be sorry for.

“I can’t even begin to imagine how much emotional pain this has caused you… Henry told me about Saturday. The dancing. I can tell you you’re welcome over for dinner or a drink or just to enjoy being around family whenever you feel you need it. I’m… I’m just sorry I can’t give the dancing back to you as well.”

It was too much on top of all the physical pain and misery she was already feeling and before she could stop it from happening, Nadine had burst into tears.

Rounding the desk, Elizabeth hugged her, holding on as Nadine held tight as she cried.

"I- I don't know what to say." She finally got out.

"Say you'll tell us when something is wrong. Say you'll accept our help... Say we'll be friends."


End file.
